"Earth's crammed with heaven..."

the in-between time

2011-12-30T15:02:00.000-06:00

I am enjoying these last few days of 2011; I've found a liminal space inside them, a place of waiting, reflecting, anticipating, being. A place between the completed/fulfilled anticipation of Advent and Christmas and the expectancy of a new year and season. My mind fills with thoughts and evaluations of events in the past year as well as plans for the one to come, but I push these thoughts aside for now and go deeper into the liminal space itself. Does anything lie here, waiting to be discovered? Or perhaps it is simply a time to be without doing, to sit and look without planning or analyzing. I walk, I read, I ponder God and what he teaches me. The past year or so has been difficult; I have lived with great fear and resentment. I thank God for the grace to be able to see this and, in this liminal time, to be able to separate myself from the fear and resentment somewhat so that I may understand them more fully, if understanding comes. What do I fear? Why? I am resentful because I have expectations that aren't being met, and I am losing patience and hope. Perhaps it is time to let these expectations go. I am beginning to discover that the emptying of a life can bring a greater capacity for grace.

Blessings to you; I wish you well in this in-between time and in the year to come. May the Peace of God be with us.

giving thanks

2011-11-20T18:35:00.000-06:00

A prayer by Johann Kepler, 1571-1630, as printed in The Oxford Book of Prayer, George Appleton, Editor:

O Thou who through the light of nature hast aroused in us a longing for the light of grace, so that we may be raised in the light of Thy majesty, to Thee, I give thanks, Creator and Lord, that Thou allowest me to rejoice in Thy works. Praise the Lord ye heavenly harmonies, and ye who know the revealed harmonies. For from Him, through Him and in Him, all is, which is perceptible as well as spiritual; that which we know and that which we do not know, for there is still much to learn.

Today the following phrases grabbed my attention and drew me into further contemplation:
"hast aroused in us a longing..."
"that Thou allowest me (gave me the capacity and ability) to rejoice in Thy works"
"the revealed harmonies"
"from Him, through Him and in Him, all is..."
"for there is still much to learn"

Thank You for reminding me of gratitude; I had forgotten.

A Credo for Support

2011-10-18T07:32:00.000-05:00

The videos to the left of this column have a very powerful message written by a man with cerebral palsy and his wife. When you view humanity in this way, the whole world changes.

A Credo for Support

c. 1995 by Norman Kunc and Emma Van der Klift

Throughout history,

people with physical and mental disabilities

have been abandoned at birth,

banished by society,

used as court jesters,

drowned and burned during the Inquisition,

gassed in Nazi Germany,

and still continue to be segregated, institutionalized,

tortured in the name of behavior management,

abused, raped, euthanized, and murdered.

Now, for the first time, people with disabilities are taking their rightful place as fully contributing citizens. The danger is that we will respond with remediation and benevolence rather than equity and respect. And so, we offer you

A Credo for Support

Do Not see my disability as the problem.

Recognize that my disability is an attribute.

Do Not see my disability as a deficit.

It is you who see me as deviant and helpless.

Do Not try to fix me, because I am not broken.

Support me. I can make my contribution to the community in my way.

Do Not see me as your client. I am your fellow citizen.

See me as your neighbor. Remember, none of us can be self-sufficient.

Do Not try to modify my behavior.

Be still and listen.

What you define as inappropriate may be my attempt to communicate with you in the only way I can.

Do Not try to change me, you have no right.

Help me learn what I want to know.

Do Not hide your uncertainty behind "professional" distance.

Be a person who listens, and does not take my struggle away from me by trying to make it all better.

Do Not use theories and strategies on me.

Be with me. And when we struggle with each other, let that give rise to self-reflection.

Do Not try to control me. I have a right
to my power as a person.

What you call non-compliance or manipulation may actually be the only way I can exert some control over my life.

Do Not teach me to be obedient, submissive, and polite.

I need to feel entitled to say No if I am to protect myself.

Do Not be charitable towards me.

The last thing the world needs is another Jerry Lewis.

Be my ally against those who exploit me
for their own gratification.

Do Not try to be my friend. I deserve more than that.

Get to know me. We may become friends.

Do Not help me, even if it does make you feel good.

Ask me if I need your help. Let me show you how you can best assist me.

Do Not admire me. A desire to live a full life does not warrant adoration.

Respect me, for respect presumes equity.

Do Not tell, correct, and lead.

Listen, Support, and Follow.

Do Not work on me.

Work with me.

compline

2011-09-26T00:00:00.000-05:00

Compline is a prayer for the end of the day. This one comes from Northumbria Community :

The Sacred Three
to save
to shield
to surround
the hearth
the home
this night
and every night....

O God who is one,
O God who is true,
O God who is first....

O God of life, this night,
O darken not to me Thy light.O God of life, this night,
close not Thy gladness to my sight.

Keep Your people, Lord,
in the arms of Your embrace.
Shelter them under Your wings.

* Be their light in darkness.
Be their hope in distress.
Be their calm in anxiety.

* Be strength in their weakness.

* Be their comfort in pain.

* Be their song in the night.

In peace will I lie down, for it is You, O Lord,
You alone who makes me to rest secure.
Be it on Your own beloved arm,
O God of grace, that I in peace shall awake.

Be the peace of the Spirit
mine this night.
Be the peace of the Son
mine this night.
Be the peace of the Father
mine this night.
The peace of all peace
be mine this night
+ in the name of the Father,
and of the Son,
and of the Holy Spirit.
Amen.

and I received...

2011-09-09T09:35:00.000-05:00

Several minutes after writing the last post I found this in a book of collected prayers*:

"I don't know who - or what - put the question, I don't know when it was put. I don't even remember answering. But at some moment I did answer Yes to Someone - or Something - and from that hour I was certain that existence is meaningful and that, therefore, my life in self-surrender had a goal. From that moment I have known what it means 'not to look back,' and 'to take no thought for the morrow.'"

Dag Hammarskjold

* The Oxford Book of Prayer, George Appleton, Ed., 1985

are we there yet?

2011-09-09T09:10:00.000-05:00

My friend Pam at radical ramblings and thoughts of a southern girl wrote a post today on surrender. As I envisioned myself walking beside her on that particular path, giving and receiving encouragement, I suddenly burst out, "Are we there yet?!" I mean, my God, how much more can you ask? My job, my home, my dogs, my ability to think clearly, my relationships, my very sanity sometimes...what next? Oh, I know, I prayed with St. Ignatius that you take everything, even my memory, understanding, and liberty, if you see fit, and I meant it, but I didn't realize those things ran so deep. Now I'm tempted to say, "Just try to take anything more. I dare you." And yet I do pray it. I'm a mess, a bitter, proud, resentful mess. I offer up my very life, but when you take it I fight to get it back. Teach me what all this loss is for, what it really means. Or don't. But please teach me to love.

genealogy with grandpa

2011-09-09T08:45:00.000-05:00

This morning Grandpa greeted me with: "I'm rich."
"Oh yeah?" I said. "How so?"
"I have a new niece and nephew."
"You mean great-grandkids? You have two new great-grandchildren." Congrats, cousin, on the twins!
"Oh yeah. That's right. I'm waiting on you for a niece."
"Huh?"
"I'm waiting on you for a niece."
"Well, you're going to be waiting a while." (For more reasons than one...)
"Wait, what are you?"
"I'm your granddaughter!"
"Oh yeah. Never mind."

indie ink

2011-09-05T02:25:00.000-05:00

This week's Indie Ink challenge came from Grace and was a link: http://www.dictionaryofobscuresorrows.com/post/9660178280/ambedo. Check out the dictionary; it's fascinating! For the challenge, I added to the final paragraph of my antagonist description.

I looked at Grandpa sitting silently across the small table from me. “Do you want some more eggs?” I asked him.

“No.”

“More juice?”

“No. I’m fine.”

I considered him for a few moments. Grandpa’s eyes were hidden under his large, bushy, gray eyebrows. His wiry gray hair stuck out here and there; it was time for another haircut. His old brown sweater consumed him. Grandpa looked at me and smiled faintly, but I could tell this was one of his more difficult days. Grandpa was still adjusting to the changes the past year had brought him: a physical decline which necessitated the use of a wheelchair and kept him from going out of the house as often as he liked. Driving had been especially hard for him to give up. I understood completely. I treasured my independence as much as Grandpa valued his, and the thought of losing so much of it horrified me. While Grandpa and I were thankful that he had not declined much mentally, it sometimes seemed like a cruel joke of fate. He knew exactly how much he was missing out on, and on his bad days this knowledge seemed to mock him just as his thick head of hair did in the mirror, sitting atop that thin, wasted body.

Grandpa caught me staring and jerked into action, picking up his plate and rolling himself to the sink. After putting his plate in the sink he went into the living room and switched on the television. As he moved I watched the wheels of his chair spinning…spinning…in my mind’s eye the wheels continued to turn, like custom rims...flashing sunlight…abruptly reflecting, turning the light away…gathering shadows…going nowhere…circling…was this really the best situation for Grandpa? Would he be better off in a place with more people and activities to interact with? He fights adamantly against the idea of moving out of his home, the home he shared with Grandma for 37 years and in which she passed away. I’m sure he wants to die here, too. But what if he’s already dead?

Day 2: antagonist description

2011-09-02T15:58:00.000-05:00

I looked at Grandpa sitting silently across the small table from me. “Do you want some more eggs?” I asked him.

“No.”

“More juice?”

“No. I’m fine.”

I considered him for a few moments. Grandpa’s eyes were hidden under his large, bushy, gray eyebrows. His wiry gray hair stuck out here and there; it was time for another haircut. His old brown sweater consumed him. Grandpa looked at me and smiled faintly, but I could tell this was one of his more difficult days. Grandpa was still adjusting to the changes the past year had brought him: a physical decline which necessitated the use of a wheelchair and kept him from going out of the house as often as he liked. Driving had been especially hard for him to give up. I understood completely. I treasured my independence as much as Grandpa valued his, and the thought of losing so much of it horrified me. While Grandpa and I were thankful that he had not declined much mentally, it sometimes seemed like a cruel joke of fate. He knew exactly how much he was missing out on, and on his bad days this knowledge seemed to mock him just as his thick head of hair did in the mirror, sitting atop that thin, wasted body.

Grandpa caught me staring and jerked into action, picking up his plate and rolling himself to the sink. After putting his plate in the sink he went into the living room and switched on the television. I Love Lucy was on; his favorite. As Grandpa lost himself in Lucy’s comic genius, I continued to watch him and wonder. Was this really the best situation for him? Would he be better off in a place with more people and activities to interact with? He fights adamantly against the idea of moving out of his home, the home he shared with Grandma for 37 years and in which she passed away. I’m sure he wants to die here, too. But what if he was already dead?

30-day short story challenge - Day 1

2011-09-01T22:17:00.000-05:00

Nearly 20 years ago (!) I took a creative writing class at our local university. One of our assignments was to write a scene in a short story which included: an old man, a wheelchair, a hamster, a pair of pants (I think), and a newspaper. I wrote, somewhat prophetically I guess, about a woman who cares for her ailing grandfather full-time. I was able to write the scene, but I never figured out where I was going with it. Now I'm curious to find out.

I decided to participate in the 30-day writing challenge at http://30daysofwriting.com/ . This site provides daily assignments and an opportunity to post your work and receive feedback from others. Each assignment draws you further into your story, and by the end of the month (hopefully) your story will be written.

Today's assignment was to write a 300-word description of our protagonist. I wrote about 200 words before I realized the description was supposed to be physical. When I realized my mistake it was like pulling teeth to get myself to sit down and think about what Kate looks like. This will be an interesting month.

The similarities between me and Kate are obvious, but there are differences, too. If you know me personally, please don't assume I feel like Kate is feeling and flood me with phone calls. I appreciate it. :)

Kate is a single woman in her early thirties who has moved in with her grandfather in order to provide full-time care for him, including meal preparation and assistance with personal tasks. Kate has always been close to her grandfather and she is glad to do this, but after one year she is beginning to feel as if her life will never return to its former routine, which included teaching (something...) and owning her own home. Kate is ready for a change of some sort, but she isn’t sure what that change could be. There are no other options for her grandfather except a nursing home, and Kate is not willing to move her grandfather yet. Kate knows she enjoys working with children and dogs, reading and writing, but she is bored with her life and herself and needs to remember what makes life worthwhile. Kate is an intelligent woman with a dry, sarcastic wit. She prefers to be alone or in a small group of people she knows well. When she is not working with her grandfather Kate…does stuff which I hope to flesh out as the story grows.

Kate’s appearance has dulled over the past year; the browns and grays she usually wears reflect her graying brown hair and pale, freckled skin. She feels that she herself, her personality, has paled. She stoops slightly, and traces of the old woman she will someday be have begun to push through to the surface. She is sloughing off her former, vibrant self and she mourns its loss but does not know how to regain it.

13 items in my welcome basket from heaven

2011-09-01T13:31:00.000-05:00

I saw this picture on another blog today and had to ~~steal~~ share it with you:

What would you like in your heaven welcome basket, assuming you get there, hee hee? My dream basket would have:

1. Johnny Depp

2. chocolate

3. I'll take a bottle o' water-to-wine!

4. Johnny Depp

5. more seasons of Firefly! Yes!

6. camera and space suit for space exploration - (would I need a space suit?)

7. underwater camera and diving gear for deep-sea exploration

8. a miracle for learning all world languages in a day

9. tickets for a tour of the worlds

10. Johnny Depp

11. puppies!

12. all-access pass to visits with Henri Nouwen, Abraham Lincoln, Annie Dillard (I don't think she's dead yet but I have dibs on first in line), Spock, and many others.

13. journal and pen

This picture and idea came from W.T.F. - a hilarious site! (W.T.F. stands for Wednesday, Thursday, Friday you potty heads.) Thank you, W.T.F!

And thank you, Thursday 13 for another fun meme!

best local newspaper headline of the day

2011-08-29T09:36:00.001-05:00

County: Dead aren't voting

Well, at least they can say they checked.

project 52 remix

2011-08-29T05:41:00.000-05:00

It's past time for me to review and update my Project 52 goals for the year...

1. Finish what I start, including ~~the A to Z Challenge~~ and Project 52
2. ~~Jump off a diving board for the first time (once there's water in the pool)~~ I'm going to have to change this one to:
2. Finish a short story I started for a creative writing class nearly 20 years ago (!)
~~3. Eat lunch regularly with my cousin~~ - Ongoing - yeah!
~~4. Learn more about the blogging world and writing a good blog~~ - Ongoing
~~5. Balance blogging with the rest of life (!)~~ - Going well
~~6. Replace diet pop with water (no set amount - I'm not that dumb)~~ - did great in May and June! :}
7. Lose any number of pounds - this goal-setting is easy! I have GOT to get serious about this!
8. Okay, okay - swim 3 times a week at least 4 times this year
9. Read a book with my eyes (I love books, but I've gotten hooked on audio books and haven't actually read one in a while.) - reading "The Name of the Wind" by Patrick Rothfuss, courtesy of my brother
10. ~~Make a list~~ - ta da!
11. See/hear my cousin Matt play in his band Carrie Nation and the Speakeasy http://www.carrienationandthespeakeasy.com/ - I've already done the "hear" part because they were on the radio the other night. Matt plays the banjo really fast. And he's self-taught. I'm still in awe.
~~12. Write a handwritten letter to R. and send it by snail mail~~ - Done!
13. Cook for myself and my housemates (now Mom & Dad) at the same time at least once - that's all they'll let me do
14. Begin (again) a "regular" habit of doing yoga's Sun Salutation in the morning
15. Explore the new walking trails they're making in town
~~16. Spend "quality" (you can define that for yourself) time reading the blogs I've bookmarked to spend more time with later~~ - Ongoing
~~17. Play hard with my niece and nephew every time they're in town~~ - They live IN town now! Woo hoo!
~~18. Get rid of more stuff~~ - I've reduced my junk from enough for a two-bedroom house to enough for 1-2 rooms - I should reward myself with a shopping trip.
~~19. Finish making my Anglican prayer beads~~ - and use them - Done, ongoing
20. Support a family for Thanksgiving and/or Christmas to the best of my ability
21. Learn something about gardening
22. Keep eating well and avoid fast food more - Ongoing in fits and starts
~~23. Improve natural sleep patterns~~ - Hallelujah - done!
24. Learn to do the front crawl with my face in the water and swim 50 yards without stopping
25. Check my progress on these goals regularly - whoops
26. Be thankful always
27. Love others
28. Learn to count

monday mayhem

2011-08-28T23:08:00.001-05:00

It's time for Monday Mahem...

"Today we are focusing on crummy weather. Answer each question as you feel and don't forget...have fun!"

1. What city, in your opinion, has the crummiest weather?
Over the weekend, those in the path of Hurricane Irene.

2. What kind of weather is the crummiest weather that your current home experiences?
NON-STOP 100-SOMETHING-DEGREE DAYS ALL SUMMER!!! Whew, I feel better now.

3. When the weather alerts and alarms go off, what do you do?
Our alerts usually come in the spring and warn of tornadoes. I turn on the news, look outside, and go outside, if there's nothing too close by, to see what I can see. If there is something close by, I gather flashlight, radio, and loved ones in the bathroom with me.

4. What is the crummiest weather event that you have personally ever experienced?
The 1971 earthquake in the San Fernando Valley area of CA. I was only 2 years old at the time and I don't remember it, but I do remember a recurring dream I had afterwards of all the pots and pans in the kitchen flying in a circle in the room.

5. Where would you rather be stuck for a month- somewhere where there is 20 inches of snow and below freezing temps or somewhere where it is painfully hot and humid?
Snow! I hate being hot and sweaty!

6. What kind of weather keeps you indoors?
My favorite - thunderstorms.

7. Tell us the name of one famous person and the kind of weather you would wish upon them.
Abraham Lincoln - I'm guessing he enjoyed rain as much as I do.

8. If you were the official ruler of all weather, what kind of weather would you make happen?
Definitely a variety, but I'd make fall last at least 6 months.

9. What kinds of weather do you dread?
One more minute of 100+ degree heat with humidity.

10. What's your weather like today?
See multiple whinings above.

Sunday Scribblings: Muse

2011-08-28T14:09:00.003-05:00

With one simple question my friend at radical ramblings and thoughts of a southern girl has inspired me today. "Isn't it all holy ground?" she asks.

Earth's crammed with heaven
and every common bush afire with God.
But only he who sees takes off his shoes.
The rest sit 'round it and pluck blackberries.

Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Yes, I remember, it is. Or it can be, when I look for it, see it, participate in it. I've been more focused on the tasks lately: pluck the blackberries, fix the pudding, change the channel, fix the mashed potatoes and gravy, help Grandpa walk, fix the car, tutor, etc. etc. I did remember once to see, when a grasshopper got stuck inside the window well and allowed me to observe him closely with awe as he crawed up the glass and back into the yard. But I forgot to pay attention to Grandpa's smile, to my student's need for a variety of activities, to the rain (hallelujah!). I've been so focused on my own little world that I haven't been able to see or be moved by the miracles of the worlds around me. But here I will take off my shoes, be still, watch, and listen. I hope to see God. What do you see? What is your muse?

See what others have to say at http://sundayscribblings.blogspot.com/ and share your own thoughts!

a little quirkiness

2011-08-28T13:36:00.004-05:00

It's been a low-key couple of months as I adjust to my new living situation. There haven't been a whole lot of funny moments to share. There have been several good thinking moments. I'm not sure they'd be interesting to anyone else, though, so I haven't written much. But when you get bogged down in the editing process before you've even written, you're dead. And I miss writing. I hope you'll find some sort of hospitality and a kind of welcome, recognition, and love here.

Grandpa's made me laugh this week by:

Asking how much Dad was going to charge him for his regular haircut and "manicure", then when Dad said "$600," saying, "I'll have Kerri pay for it." Later when I fake-scolded him about spending my money, he gave me a kiss on the cheek. Oh sure, Grandpa, pull out the big guns.

Asking me to "fix" three items on a small nearby table so that they were all the same distance from the front edge of the table. "I've got a ruler in the desk so you can measure them," Grandpa said helpfully. I gave him a look.

Laughing and covering up his watch and moving his arms around when I'm trying to remove his watch and apply a medicine in lotion form to the inside of his forearms. He cracks himself up.

Sunday Stealing meme

2011-08-28T12:43:00.004-05:00

Judd Corizan at Sunday Stealing hosts a weekly event in which he "steals" memes from other websites (and credits them). It's a fun and easy way to find a variety of things to write about and people to meet. I'm doing this today because I have writer's block; I want to write about anything and hopefully get the words flowing again. Is this kind of question-and-answer thing below intereting to you? Be honest - I really want to know!

1. What's for breakfast? Cinnamon roll and diet coke. I know.

2. Do you read a newspaper daily?   Used to - now I read online.

3. What do you do when you can't sleep? Drink milk - I was surprised by how much it helps.

4. Say a word that sums up your mood. Rollercoastery!

5. Do you remember your dreams? Usually - last night I dreamed of my favorite dog Chester, who died about a year ago. The night before I dreamed I was pulled over by the cops - can't remember why.

6. Name something from your dream last night. Can't remember - I just know I dreamed of him - you ever have that feeling, like someone is very close to you when you wake up and you know you dreamt of them but can't remember the dream? I just remembered - I dreamed of my former students last night, too - I've been thinking of them lately with the kick-off of a new school year.

7. Name a food that describes you.   Chocolate - all ranges of sweetness, bitterness and nuttiness!

8. Today you are wearing: Clothes. Maybe tomorrow I'll try the drapes.

9. What's in your pockets? Only lint. :(

10. Did you sing in the shower today? I haven't showered today!

11. What's the last song you heard? Theme song/whistle from Andy Griffith - Grandpa's watching him now. No, I don't know what episode and I'm not going to ask!

12. Looking forward to the holidays?   Always! I've even started thinking of what to get people for Christmas.

13. Where do you want to be this instant? Ooh...somewhere foreign, quiet, and peaceful.

14. What's for lunch? Cereal. Maybe. I'll throw some fruit in it.

15. What's something you would like to do soon? Pay off my student loans and credit cards and travel around the world.

16. Reading anything now? What is it?   Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss - highly recommended by my brother. So far so good!

17. What's for dinner? Why are you so obsessed with my meal plans?!

18. A favorite part of the day is:   Waking up and greeting Grandpa

19. Are you happy?   Haven't been much lately, but it's getting better.

20. Guess how many people will do Sunday Stealing this weekend? 37-ish

best sight of the day:

2011-08-22T09:07:00.000-05:00

an adolescent boy standing next to his bicycle and peering in the window of a motorcycle dealership, his hands and face pressed close to the glass, dreaming of someday

friday four fill-in

2011-08-19T14:51:00.000-05:00

1. My favorite piece of advice my mom ever gave me was "tell your father I said it was okay."

2. I overcame my fear of spiders through sheer exposure, fear, and willpower. Would have REALLY preferred the more common form of extermination: yelling for a man.

3. Currently, Subway is my favorite fast food restaurant. I'm on a meatball sub jag.

4. The last time I was sick I had hypochondria.

Thanks, Beachie!

birthday bash and roommates

2011-08-19T14:26:00.000-05:00

Grandpa turned 94 last week - woo-hoo! He had a great day complete with a John Deere cake, lots of cards, and visits with family. (That's my mom and dad to Grandpa's right).

Last month I moved in with Mom & Dad to care full-time for Grandpa, who also lives with them. Grandpa and I share the finished basement which includes a full kitchen which I assume works, although I haven't actually turned the stove on yet. It's a good set-up, though it requires quite a mental adjustment - more so than I expected. Living with my parents, still grieving for my loss of my dogs and teaching job, and uncertainty re: how long this new stage in life will last have all caused me to feel as if I've dived into a deep lake. I am enveloped, and my attention has focused down to the narrowest of points. I am only now beginning to bob to the surface.

So I haven't had a lot of funny times with Grandpa to share, although I have noticed something interesting. Now that I'm living here and not sitting next to Grandpa all day, he's had to come up with new ways to get or maintain my attention. Grandpa is very reliant on a consistent schedule, and if I am late to change the channel or begin preparing meal, or even if he thinks I might be late, he will turn the TV up loud, clap, holler, bang things on his tray, etc. I try to watch the clock because after a while that stuff just isn't cute anymore (!). But it's interesting to observe our behavior and our attempts to modify each others'. I think we deserve each other.

The other day I overheard Grandpa mumbling to himself. Uh-oh, I thought, was he beginning to go senile? I thought I'd better check. "Grandpa?"

"Huh?"

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, why?"

"You were talking to yourself. Or were you talking to me?"

"Oh - no. I was repeating what the two Andy Griffith shows were this morning so I could remember them."

And we're back.

i'm cute! seriously!

2011-07-08T07:24:00.001-05:00

Well it's about time; someone has finally recognized my cuteness. Su at Cheekyness gave me the honor. I love Su's witty sense of humor and her reflections on various topics. Her post re: this award is hilarious and definitely worth your time. Thank you, Su!

This award asks you to list (yeah!) five books, movies, or TV shows you've enjoyed in past 12 months and to pass the award on to other bloggers. I can't even remember what I did last week, much less 12-ish months ago, but I'm pretty sure I've seen/read:

Harry Potter and the...next-to-last one. My brother and I have seen all of these movies together - I love this tradition of ours. Would someone please make Ender's Game? And don't screw it up!

I'm racking my brain...all my stuff's packed up and I'm coming up with nothing here. Hang on...

Modern Family - the funniest, smartest show on television. Period.

So You Think You Can Dance - I came late to this party. I thought it was yet another amateur night talent show with diamonds in the rough revealed 10 weeks or so into the season. Dummy. These dancers are good, as are the choreographers. I love watching this show.

The Mysterious Benedict Society by Trenton Lee Stewart. Technically this is a children's novel. I'm reading it to see if any of my students would enjoy it. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. This is the book with the line I quoted a couple of posts down about the girl wearing "her own personal fog bank." (A very poufy dress, as seen by an eleven-year-old boy.)

ASVAB for Dummies by Rod Powers. I don't know what "ASVAB" stands for. I could look it up, but I'm too lazy. It's the military entrance exam; I'm helping my cousin prepare for it. Don't worry - he doesn't need my help with the spatial/mechanical part of the test.

I've chosen five blogs to pass this award to:

Letters from the Past - my friend Jennifer's grandmother passed away recently. When Jennifer and her family cleaned out her grandmother's house, they discovered an old scrapbook hidden behind the dresser. In the scrapbook were 365 letters that Jennifer's grandfather had written to her grandmother over the course of a year. Jennifer will be posting these letters on this blog. How can you resist?

Danielle at Yeah, I said it. has a witty, funny, insightful blog that I love to read. When I discovered I found even her comments on mundane issues riveting (okay, interesting), I knew I was hooked!

Ada at Of Woods and Words writes of living in rural - real rural - Minnesota with compassion and insight. I have to pace myself when reading her blog; otherwise I'd be packing up my stuff all over again and heading north.

It's OK to be WEIRD! - I liked this blog as soon as I read the title. Raylene celebrates life and weirdness in a way that makes me glad to be weird, too.

Karen's Thotful Spot - Karen also writes with perception and love and always makes me think. And she likes Pooh, too!

Thank you again, Su, for this award!

funny moment of the day

2011-07-07T07:21:00.002-05:00

I've moved in with Mom & Dad to help care more for Grandpa. When I last left aunt & uncle's house, I had a handful of boxes and tubs packed and ready to go in my room. When I returned few days later to continue packing and move a load of stuff, this sight greeted me as the garage door slowly went up:

Aunt & uncle had (truly helpfully) packed up the remainder of my stuff for me and moved it to the front of the garage. I think I'll caption this picture, "Don't let the door hit you on the way out!" (Now you see why I added "and bring me back" to the Scotland pic on the right...)

writers' words that make me smile

2011-07-07T00:33:00.000-05:00

"Don't draw a smiley face on my sludge day."
Mike Lupica, Million Dollar Throw

"I swear, Hannah. Put your brains in a jaybird and he'd fly backwards."
Gunsmoke

"...aint no gun made can do what love can."
Rebecca Wells

"If it was unpleasant to feel so different from the other children at Stonetown Orphanage, how much worse was it to be seen as an oddball by a green-haired girl wearing her own personal fog bank?"
Trenton Lee Stewart, The Mysterious Benedict Society

the divine miss m

2011-07-06T03:03:00.001-05:00

So the other day my four-year-old niece, M, visited a new church with her family. M. is...not shy. :) She's a ray of sunshine, although sometimes you feel the heat more than you see the light. This past Sunday she was her bright and cheerful self, and when the pastor called the children in the congregation to the front of the sanctuary for a special lesson, M. cheerfully went up. A new church? Full of strangers? How fun! The lesson continued from the previous week and had to do with the parable of the man that built his house on sand and the man that built his house on a...

"Rock!" M. said, finishing the pastor's sentence. When he asked how things turned out for the man on the sand, M. answered, "Not so good!" The pastor laughed and said she should do the preaching. At the end of the lesson, the pastor led the children in prayer. When he finished, M. piped up,

"Well that was short!"

"They tell me that's how they like it," the pastor replied. He gave the kids a ring pop and told them not to eat it now, but to wait and ask their parents if they could have it after lunch.

"Hey Mom! Can I have this after lunch?!" M. called from the front. She was assured she could, and M. cheerfully walked back to her seat and reclaimed her family. They happily claimed her back.

10 of the dumbest things i've ever done

2011-07-05T04:13:00.000-05:00

To make your own post-its, visit http://wigflip.com/superstickies/

waterfowl in my life: july synchroblog

2011-07-02T02:58:00.004-05:00

I was delighted to discover the existence of the Wild Goose Festival last month! It also amuses and intrigues me to think of the Holy Spirit as a wild goose. I'd never heard of that symbolism. This month's Synchroblog asks participants to write about their experiences of the Festival or, if they did not attend, to share how the "wild goose" has made herself known in their lives. I was unable to attend the Festival this year, but I really want to do so someday! I do have some experience with the impact of ducks and swans on my life, however. Swan symbolism has some Celtic roots as does that of the goose, so I'm expanding this month's topic to waterfowl for my purposes. :) I'm sensing the Goose doesn't mind...

A counselor once told me that I needed to "find my ducks." "Huh?" I said. She explained that participating in some sort of community with like-minded and like-spirited people would help with my depression. "You know," she said, "like the ugly duckling story. I guess I should say you need to find your swans." Either way, her phrase stuck with me. Just as the "duckling" in Hans Christian Andersen's tale discovers that he is not ugly, he just isn't a duck, I needed to figure out the ways in which the religious beliefs I'd grown up with were and were not true to the person I am. And I needed to find my swans.

After that conversation I was more attuned to ducks and swans and enjoyed watching how they popped up in my life.

I enjoyed the silliness ducks sometimes seem to have, and that helped me enjoy my own silliness. I watched ducks live in community, and I reflected on swans' fierce loyalty to each other. On my one-day retreat last December, I learned more about the symbolism of swans and their representation of transformation, intuition, and dreams. A few days after that retreat, while driving in town, I saw a swan sitting by the side of the road, in the grass between the curb and the sidewalk. She was just sitting there serenely, as swans seem to do, all alone, as if swans always sat in urban areas with no water immediately nearby. I took that as a totem, a symbol of the liminal space in which I've been living for several years. A sign and a promise that transformation is taking place. Perhaps a community is on the threshold.

And now I've been goosed. Canadian geese live with the ducks in the river which flows through the center of our city. When I watched the ducks I watched the geese as well and enjoyed how they also followed their leader everywhere, honk honk honking, waddling, gliding. Geese live by the motto "Leave no goose behind." When they migrate, if one goose becomes injured or ill, another stays with the first until he/she either heals or dies. I love that. What has the Wild Goose said to you lately?

More Synchroblog posts, including some from people who were at the festival:

Anna Snoeyenbos – Wild Goose Festival – A Spirit of Life Revival

Lee Smith - Goose Bumps: Opportunities Everywhere for Offense. A Fair and Objective Review

Ryan Hines – 30 Years Later – “Controversy” at Wild Goose

Karyn Wiseman – Flying With the Goose

Kyla Cofer – I went to the Wild Goose Fest and came back in love

Brian Gerald Murphy – Born Again (Again) at Wild Goose

Chris Lenshyn – Chasing the Wild Goose

Cherie at Renaissance Garden – Wild Goose Return

Deborah Wise – Wild Goose Chasing

Custodianseed – “every day they eat boiled goose”

Will Norman – Back from the Wild Goose Fest

Martin at Exiles in NY – Greenbelt and the Wild Goose

Kerri at Practicing Contemplative – Waterfowl in My Life

Allison Leigh Lilley – Chasing the Wild Goose and Catching the Wild Goose: Thanks and First Thoughts

Abbie Waters – Jessica: A Fable

Steve Knight – Why Wild Goose Festival Was So Magical

Tammy Carter – Visual Acuity and Flying

Michelle Thorburg Hammond – I heart Jay Bakker and Peter Rollins

Matthew Bolz-Weber – Remembering Wild Goose

Paul Fromberg – Celebrating Interdependence Day

David Zimmerman – Wild Goose Festival: A Recap

Dan Brennan – U2, the Wild Goose, and Deep Freedom

Mike Croghan – The Wild Goose is Not Safe

John Martinez – The Table

Callid Keefe-Perry – Gatekeeping the Goose

Eric Elnes – The Inaugural Wild Goose Festival: Recovering Something Lost

Shay Kearns – The Power of a T-Shirt, Apologizing to Over the Rhine, and Public vs. Private (Part One)

Glen Reteif – Duck Duck Goose

Peterson Toscano – I’ve Been Goosed, What I Carried Into Wild Goose, and What I Blurted Out at Wild Goose

Seth Donovan – About More than “The Gays”

Exiles in New York – Greenbelt and the Wild Goose

Tammy Carter – Visual Acuity and Flying

TSmith – What I’ll Take From Wild Goose

Dale Lature – Wild Goose Reflection

Steve Hayes – Wild Goose Chase?

Minnow – Grace Response

Christine Sine – Encounters With A Thin Space

Jeremy Myers – Giving Up the Wild Goose Chase

Robert – Thoughts On the Inaugural Wild Goose

Anna Woofenden – Slippery Slope Reflections

Wendy McCaig – Loosing The Goose

Joey Wahoo – Into The Wild

Rachel Swan – goosed

Patricia Burlison – I Called Life

Jason Hess – While At the Goose

The Bec Cranford – Wild Goose

Anthony Ehrhardt – Chasing The Wild Goose on Independence Day

Unfinished Symphony – #5 – The Last Post … for a while

a river of stones

2011-07-01T05:15:00.001-05:00

This month beholders around the world will participate in the River of Stones challenge to write a "small stone" every day in July. On their blog the hosts for the River of Stones use this quote to describe small stones:

"I have my students keep a journal in which they must write, very briefly, six things they have seen each day—not beautiful or remarkable things, just things....

"Their journals fill up with lovely things like, 'the mirror with nothing reflected in it.' This way of seeing is important, even vital to the poet, since it is crucial that a poet see when she or he is not looking—just as she must write when she is not writing. To write just because the poet wants to write is natural, but to learn to see is a blessing."

~From The Art of Finding by Linda Gregg

Learning to see in this way is indeed a tremendous blessing. I often feel like a child again, delighted by all the discoveries the world has to offer. It has been a life-saving practice in my times of deepest depression and a cheerful walk with God in my brighter days. You don't have to be a traditional poet to enjoy this practice; you just have to be aware. I will post my small stones at the top of the left sidebar. I hope you will join us - online, on paper, in song, in dance - in this practice to see, record, give thanks for, and be in the presence of the Holy here on earth, in the evidence that God, or whatever you call her, is staring us in the face all the time, if we will only look.

"Watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you, because the greatest secrets are hidden in the most unlikely places." Roald Dahl

thursday two questions

2011-06-29T21:30:00.003-05:00

1) What would you most probably be wearing if I caught you in the malls?
A frown. I am not a happy mall shopper.

2) What type of clothing do you mostly wear: jeans, dress, sweats, dress pants, etc? I am so with you on this one, Self Sagacity! Comfort is key. In fact, I've been known to take that a little too far at times (see the post just before this one where I forgot I wasn't wearing my bra). Oh - the answer is sweats!

Oh, duh - I'm supposed to ask my own two questions - it helps to read things thoroughly sometimes...

1. I just saw X Men: First Class today. Yes, I know that's a statement. The question is, did you know this fact about James McAvoy (Professor X)? "While filming The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (2005), Georgie Henley never saw McAvoy in his Mr. Tumnus costume before filming their scenes together. Henley's scared reaction upon seeing McAvoy is genuine surprise." It's a fact because I read it on the internet here.

2. Could we please have more Michael Fassbender (Magneto) on screen soon? Pretty please??

stream of consciousness while looking at potential places to rent

2011-06-28T03:45:00.000-05:00

Yikes. I don't know about this one. Well, what do you expect in your price range? At least this is in a separate building, not part of someone's house...Hello, are you the landlord? Oh, he's over there? I wonder if that's him walking to his car - which looks pretty nice, by the way...yep, that's him...oh how nice, he'll show me the place now, he's going to get the key...my hair's all greasy under this bandanna, hopefully he won't notice or care...oh good lord, Kerri, you're not even wearing a bra!...oh, this unit is actually nice inside, definitely a possibility...thank you for the unexpected showing (and you're welcome, ha ha)...now to this apt. nearby - hey, I found it, a miracle...peace back at ya', dude...those places look pretty nice...and peace dude and this lady with the baby stroller make it look like a nice neighborhood, but is it quiet?... I want to be as far away from multi-unit apartment living as possible, too; I'll have to think about it...where's this other place?...I see 1202 but where's 1203?! It goes from 1202 to 1218 and they're shops, not residences! I'll turn around here and check...yep, no 1203, where is- oh, duh, it's on the other side of the street - oh, whoops, sorry about that, guy behind me, no parking here, huh? I'll just turn around...oh look, this place has handy shopping carts sitting on the grass out front...maybe I'll skip this place...yep, that overgrown alley confirms it, not looking further here...too bad, it's so close to my favorite bookstore....oh my word, I'm also wearing capri sweats with bleach spots and a hole in them, and below the hems I obviously need to shave! If that 1st guy still rents to me is that a good thing?...heading back home...yes, I'm going the right way because this street heads east one-way...and I wanted to go east...no, dang it, I live WEST of here! Grr...

lunch with grandpa 6/27/11

2011-06-27T11:27:00.000-05:00

Lunchtime used to be noon (that's why Grandpa called it "the noon meal"), then he decided that it should be four hours after he had breakfast, then it somehow became four hours after he got out of bed, which usually makes it 11:00 a.m. Now, at 10:45 or thereabouts, Grandpa calls out, "I'm getting faint!" which means "feed me, quick!" Today:

Grandpa: "I'm getting faint!"
me: typing on the computer, "Okay," didn't move
Grandpa: "Ohhhhhh..." (fake faint)
me: no time to respond, because less than a second later,
Grandpa: "OHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" (louder fake faint accompanied by drooping head and arms)

Sometimes the man has the patience of a saint, and sometimes he has the patience of a toddler.

After lunch, Grandpa banged his empty soup cup on the tray. I rolled my eyes, beleaguered soul that I am, and asked him what kind of pudding he wanted for dessert. "Lemon." As I fixed his pudding I thought about writing this post. When I handed him his pudding, I realized I'd given him chocolate instead of lemon. He accepted the mistake graciously. That'll teach him.

friday four fill-in

2011-06-24T01:51:00.002-05:00

I enjoy Feeling Beachie's fill-ins; the questions are interesting and go beyond the "What is your favorite ---?" rut. This week's statements:

1. If you would have ever told me years ago that I now would be renting one room in a relative's home instead of living on my own I would never have believed you. And that's soon to change...

2. Coke! is my beverage of choice.

3. The last time I got a tattoo was... 3 years ago? It's the Greek letters Alpha and Omega, which represent God to me - the first and the last, my source and goal. I wanted the letters smaller and closer to the inside of my wrist, just as a message to myself about what I live for, but the tattoo guy had a problem with jackhammering it right over my vein.... Now I feel a bit like a Wonder Twin - activate!

4. Travel the world is one of the items on my bucket list. Right after "marry rich."

more "old" favorites

2011-06-21T12:20:00.000-05:00

For today's "Tuesdays Gone" hop I thought I'd resurrect some stories of me and Grandpa and our hearing prob- I mean, opportunities...

Prologue: Fun with my private student N:
Today I received outside confirmation that my trouble understanding Grandpa's speech is not entirely due to him. After my lesson with N. ended, he and his younger brother L. told me they were taking out a tree. What? Why? I wondered. And why do I care? But instead I used my great linguistic ability and said a more concise, "What?" "We're taking out a tree!" both boys said. "We're shooting!" L. added. I'm thinking, WHY are you cutting down a tree...it's too early for Christmas, isn't it?.....yes.....and HOW on earth are you going to get it down by shooting it? With an Uzi? What is wrong with you people?! Rather than confuse them with all my questions I modeled excellent verbal expression and scrunched up my face and said, "Huh?" Then L. lifted up his bow and N. said slowly, as if speaking to a....well, to me, "We're taking AR-CHER-Y!"

Fun with Grandpa:
My dad's dad is a 92-year-old, charming, sweetheart of a man whose picture is in the dictionary under "ornery". He's currently living with my parents, and on Sunday mornings I hang out with him, which has turned out to be a great time for both of us (or so he says). A few weeks ago, he had trouble reading the soap-opera-type comic he likes to keep up with, so he asked me to read it to him. Grandpa is a bit hard of hearing, although there is suspicion among some family members that his hearing problem is selective or he is just plain faking it. Anyway, I made the mistake of not pre-reading the comic, in which two guys were talking. So what came out of my mouth at full volume was something like this:

"HEY, JOE. HOW'S MIKE? I HEARD HE'S IN JAIL AGAIN."
"YEAH. I HAVEN'T GONE TO SEE HIM YET."
"I HEARD VALERIE WENT TO VISIT HIM."
"YEAH. SHE STAYED 45 MINUTES, AND WHEN SHE LEFT MIKE HAD A BIG SMILE ON HIS FACE."

(Silence.) (Crickets chirping.) If you've never hollered at a grandparent about conjugal visits, I highly recommend it.

Today when I went into Grandpa's room/space at Mom & Dad's house, I was a bit groggy from a fitful night's sleep. Grandpa was extra perky. "That," he said, pointing to his book of word search puzzles, "almost fell out of bed." Grandpa likes to tell silly jokes, so I thought this was one of them. "It did?" I said. "How?"
"Huh?" Grandpa said.
I put the book on his tv tray. "Are you still working on #10?"
"Yeah. Can you count that high?" (giggles)
"Ha ha." I shove Grandpa and open the book to puzzle #10 and point to it, "So how did this almost fall out of bed?"
"Huh?...No, this," he said, holding up his mechanical pencil, "is almost out of lead!" My brain's so big it clogs up my ears. It's fun to make a non-senile elderly person wonder if he's becoming senile (eye roll).

The other day as I walked into Grandpa's I heard Dad say to him, "Kerri will get your pills." Dad left and a few minutes later Grandpa told me, "I need my pills." I was a bit confused, because he usually has his pills with breakfast.
"You need your pills?" I asked.
"Yes," he said.
"Have you had your breakfast?"
"Huh?" (confused look on Grandpa's face now, too)
"You usually have your pills with breakfast. Have you had your breakfast?"
"Yeah, I had my breakfast," he said, still confused.
"Well, did you have your pills with it like usual? I don't understand what pills Dad was talking about."
"I need my PIL-LOWS," Grandpa said. Poor man.

Today he needed a paper clip. "Do you have some in your desk?" I asked, walking over to his desk/secretary - like a roll-top desk but not rounded.
"Yes, on the right side."
I looked around and eventually found them in a small jar on the left side. I took out a paper clip (but Grandpa didn't see that), held the jar up, and said, "Do you want me to put them back where I found them or where you thought they were?" (We can be very Type-A.)
"Huh? No, I need a clip."
"Yes, but do you want me to put the rest of them back here, or here?" I said, pointing.
"No! I want to clip these two papers together." (an article onto a piece of white paper)
"Yes, but what about the rest of the paper clips?"
Chuckling, but also trying very hard to remain patient with me, Grandpa said slowly and clearly, "PICK. UP. THE. JAR. AND. WALK. OVER. HERE. AND. PUT. THE. JAR. DOWN. HERE. PLEASE," as he pointed to a tray by his chair.
I laughed and said in the same way, "I. KNOW. I. GOT. THE. CLIP." I showed it to him and put it on his tray. "I'M. TALKING. ABOUT. THE. JAR," I said, holding it up.
By then we were both laughing, and I don't know where they ended up.

He clipped the papers together, then he asked me to cut off the extra white paper around the margins. (See? Type A.) He said, half-serious/half-teasing, "DON'T. CUT. THE. ARTICLE. IN. HALF. CUT HERE," he said, pointing, "AROUND. THE. ARTICLE."
"I'm going to go get the scissors and bring them here so you can watch me cut it."
Grandpa smiled, sighed with relief, and said, "Yes."
I returned with the scissors, picked up the article, and pretended I was about to cut it in half.
"No!!!!!!!!!!!"

We keep each other mentally fit.

a flash...

2011-06-20T05:12:00.002-05:00

Even in the midst of these dark days that seem to roll on endlessly, regardless of how bright a future day might be, it is good to have a shock to the system that can call forth a blurt of unexpected, unfamiliar laughter. A shock, say, such as logging onto hubworld.com to play Scrabble Flash and having the letters you are to arrange into words be "P E N I S."

oh bother...

2011-06-16T11:05:00.002-05:00

Ugh. It's another Eeyore day. Actually, it's gloomier than that. I hate feeling this way. The corners of my mouth sag. My eyes are dull. I don't want to do anything. And when I do something anyway, I am only half-focused and completely apathetic. I can't concentrate, I can't remember, I can't enjoy the things I know are good, such as this morning's sunrise, Grandpa, or having enough food and shelter.
I pray. I take medicine and hope it works. I wait for the black cloud to lift. I wait.

If you got out of bed today, give thanks.
If you took a shower without a second thought, give thanks.
If you can write a sentence in under 20 minutes, give thanks.
If you have a desire for anything, give thanks.

And if you don't...give thanks. Often. If you're having an Eeyore day too, let's ride this out together. Even though we don't feel hope, let's not give up on it. We are still blessed.

"Tuesdays Gone" hop

2011-06-14T00:45:00.004-05:00

One of the things I miss most about teaching is interacting with the kids and the hilarious things they say sometimes. For this "Tuesdays Gone: Breathing New Life into Old Posts" entry, I thought I'd bring back some of my favorite moments from last year:

I'm on the market 4/15/10
S, one of my 2nd-graders, has been asking me the past 2-3 weeks to give her a picture of me. I kept putting her off, hoping she'd forget, but she didn't, so the other day I gave her one of me at J&A's house, B. on my lap, he and I are looking at my dominoes and Z. is next to us with his dominoes. I assumed she was going to make me a card or something. She never said what she was going to do. Today, her classroom teacher told me she had put my pic on paper and drew a circle around it with lines coming from the center, like spokes on a wheel, and each line had a word or phrase:

"Miss Kerri"
"nice"
"sweet"
blah blah - I can't remember the others except:
"41 years old"
"needs a husband"

Now I'm waiting to see copies of the flyer posted all over school.

. ? ! 3/9/10
Conversation with R. this a.m., who is 9 years old and more artistically gifted than I - I asked her to draw/write a cartoon that used the 3 punctuation marks . ? and ! I hastily sketched her an example to show her what I meant; turns out, I could have just recorded our conversation:

R: "Is that a chicken?"
me: "It's a person."
"Why does he have a beak?"
"That's his nose."
"What's wrong with him?"
"Nothing!"
"Where's the dog's nose? Do you want me to help you?"
"No!"

Lessons learned 12/3/09
When R. (one of my private, 4th-grade students) wants to give you "joy dots," marker dotted on your hand so that you have a good day, and she wants to give you LOTS of dots, don't choose red. Otherwise people will think you have a disease.

What not to say to a roomful of African-American students, even if you're just talking about markers: "The black ones smell, the white ones don't." (Got a great fake look of shock and then a smile.)

What not to say to your teacher:
"Those red dots match the ones on your face."

After she's ended a horrific class with the previous group, in terms of behavior (theirs, not mine) (I think), even when she admitted she'd been acting like the bad witch: "You're acting like the good witch now." "But I'm still a witch?" "Yeah."

How not to conduct a timed assessment: Start the timer and say "go" without giving the student the directions. "WAIT! WHAT ARE WE DOING?!"

My new bra 11/5/09
My students are writing/drawing something they're thankful for to put on posterboard in the hallway this month, and I had the 3rd-graders begin with that. Two of them said they're thankful for me (ha! I knew I could manipulate them!) :) and one said when he was done, "Miss Kerri, I drew a bra on your head." Shocked silence for a moment from me and the other 3 boys. "You drew a what on my head?" I asked. "A bra." "A bra?!" (Giggles now from the other boys.) "Yes, a bra." "A bra? Why did you draw a bra on my head?" "A bra! I drew you a bra." "A braaaaa?" (enunciating the phonetics, always teaching...) "Yes, a bra! That thing girls put in their hair and tie up! What is going on?!!!" (boys laughing now) I said, "Do you mean a b-o-w?" and held up a picture of one we happened to have on the wall. "Yes, that thing. What's a bra?" "Ask your mother," I said. One boy said, "I'll tell him," and went and whispered into the 1st boy's ear. 1st boy's response: "OOOOHHH! WHOA!!! YUCK!!! No no no no no no no....!"

guest post: Karen @ "Life with Karen"

2011-06-13T07:36:00.000-05:00

Several weeks ago I discovered the practice of guest posting, where you host a writer on your blog and/or write something for theirs. I liked this idea, and when Karen asked if anyone was interested in being a guest, I got in touch. You can read my post on her website, Life with Karen . I asked Karen to write for me as well. Please give her a warm welcome, and congratulate her on her new Stylish Blogger award - woo hoo! I'm so pleased with this post and its honesty as Karen talks about the changes, not always welcome, that come to us in life. Her post reminds me of a quote I've posted before; one that Karen and I can both relate to:

"Carole wanted to organize every moment of the future to within an inch of its life, while Jude was comfortably content to let events come to her...." Simon Brett

Going with the flow has never really come natural to me. The last three months have taught me, though, that if you don't go with flow sometimes you get swept away. We can't always control the direction life is going, and to be flexible IS a certain kind of strength.

A year ago I started a blog called Karen's Healthy Lifestyle. I was beginning a new chapter in my life, and I was going to use my blog to stay committed and accountable. I started posting my eating and gym habits, and I started doing research on nutrition, weight loss, and exercise. Although my blog was somewhat personal, I wanted to stay focused on health.

One day I decided to share a little more personal information with my readers, and I started getting away from the strictly health blog that I had been writing. I found that I enjoyed sharing bits and pieces of me. I joined a meme here and a photo challenge there, and suddenly my blog took on a whole new look.

Then tragedy struck. Well, it wasn't quite that dramatic, but to me it was. I came down with shingles. I had extreme complications from that episode, and I've been sitting on my couch ever since. You can read more about that situation on the "About Me" tab at the top of my blog if you are interested. The short story is that I have nerve damage. The functionality of my feet has been affected, and I get headaches every day. To say that my body just doesn't work right anymore would be putting it mildly.

With nothing better to do, I picked up my laptop and started writing. Reading blogs has been a window into the outside world on days that I literally couldn't handle life outside of the four walls that make up my home. Writing has been a lifeline that has kept my spirits up.

My blog slowly stopped being about health and started being about me. I found a voice through blogging, and I was able to bust out of a shell that was holding me back. I took a huge leap of faith and shared one of my short stories with the public. When that went well, I shared another, then another. I found that I LOVE having people read my writing, even though it terrified me at first.

One day I looked up and realized I hadn't written a diet or exercise related post in over a week. I noticed that I was telling my readers more about me because I didn't feel comfortable calling my blog a health blog when I wrote mainly about my illness. It seemed somewhat ironic to me that what had started as a health blog had evolved to the point I wouldn't have recognized it as my own.

The only logical choice to make was to follow the path I was being led to. I changed my blog name to Life with Karen, and I allow myself to write what comes to my heart. My hope is that I am reaching people on some level. Someone out there, somewhere, needs to hear what I have to say. I don't know if it will be through a meme or a challenge. It could be through a short story. What I know is that my writing is not just a way to kill time. It is a way to show others that life may not go as planned. It's up to each of us to decide how to handle that.

At first I was resistant to the changes life had thrown my way. I wanted to be in control, and I wanted to resume the activities I enjoyed. I have, however, given in. I've climbed into the life raft and am ready for the ups and downs of this journey. I invite you to join me as we see what's around the next bend.

panning for gold

2011-06-12T17:18:00.000-05:00

Here I am again. Third time’s a charm? I hope so. My shoes are killing me. Oh no – did I remember to cut the tag off of this dress? Will I find anyone worth a second look? Hang on; who’s that?! Oh, he’s the moderator…aaand…yep - he’s married. Of course. Oh terrific – Jay’s here again. I sense a desperate need for a bathroom break coming on right about the time he reaches my table…and here we go……yikes. Does this guy dress like that all the time? What was his name again? Oh good, there’s the bell; time to meet someone new……Come again? You sell custom-made socks? And you’re wearing a pair now- oh. Okay. Yes, they look very comfortable and stylish; maybe you should take your leg off the table now…thank God, the bell……this one doesn’t look too ba- hey buddy, my eyes are up here……I don’t think I’ve ever seen a mole quite like that before…...this guy, on the other hand, should date a mirror. He’s been talking about himself for five minutes! And again the bell. Surely in this stream of testosterone flowing past me there’s at least one hunk I could take home……oh, here’s Jay…I wonder if I should get my hair cut? Maybe shoulder-length with some bangs? Molly got her hair cut like that and it’s really cute…I wonder where she had it done…maybe– what? Time’s up already? So long, Jay……EUREKA! Who’s this Adonis? And why on earth is he speed dating when he could be- wait, what? Did he just say he lives with his mother?......Haven’t I talked to this guy already?……Do I look like I’d want to play World of Warcraft with you?.…. Is it over? I guess so.

Sigh. Another bust.

This week my Indie Ink challenge, "panning for gold," came from an artist named Amy at 3 to 9 Travels. Go check her out! I challenged Mare at Destiny is Deafening with, "A stranger approaches you on the street and says, 'I had to do it; I had no choice. Help me!' Be sure to read what she makes of it!

straight out of the camera

2011-06-12T14:16:00.000-05:00

This weekend I'm helping dogsit Sadie (on the left) and Diesel for my cousins. I stayed overnight with them and fed them, petted them, gave them treats - I enjoyed it as much as they did. Later, after I'd returned home to my aunt & uncle's house, my uncle brought them over to play in the back yard, and they found me. Does my heart good!

This week I began tutoring a cousin in pre-K skills (which were pre-1st-grade skills in my day!). I haven't tutored someone at this level for a while, and I love it! And this girl has the best focusing abilities I've ever seen in someone her age.

three picture books

2011-06-11T01:47:00.003-05:00

This summer I'm tutoring a young cousin in basic pre-reading skills - letter identification, phonics, etc. I bookended our first lesson (aren't I clever to use a pun? eye roll) with these first two books:

Chicka Chicka Boom Boom by Bill Martin, Jr. and John Archambault

Illustrated by Lois Ehlert

What's not to love about Chicka Chicka Boom Boom? Fun story, witty writing such as "black-eyed p," rhymes, and a meter you can't help but bounce and read along to. My cousin A. liked the mommy and daddy letters taking care of their children when they all fell out of the coconut tree. Chicka Chicka Boom Boom!

The Preposterous Rhinoceros by Robert Bender

I found this book in a used bookstore. I was especially pleased to see it uses some of the same rhymes we work on in tutoring: snake/cake, goat/boat, mouse/house, etc., which makes it a great companion to that lesson. Using the pictures as cues, the child can complete the rhyme: "...and a goat in a..." "Coat!" This book can also be used to develop comprehension, fact/fiction, and prediction. "Why is Alvin sad?" "Do toads really drive cars?" "What do you think might happen when Alvin goes outside?"

Tumble Bumble by Felicia Bond

I think I found this book in a used bookstore, too - that's where I get most of my books. I read this to A. at the end of our second session. The animals in this book have an adventure which is told in rhyme. The rhymes are not always in a regular, predictable meter, which gives the child a greater challenge ("a crocodile smile," for example).

picture book challenge

2011-06-10T17:19:00.007-05:00

A challenge that involves reading picture books to children? I'm SO in!

See http://www.theresabook.com/read-to-me-picture-book-reading-challenge/ for details. I will be reading with a child, probably at the "Watering" level. I read a variety of books, including picture books, to my private tutoring students. I look forward to seeing others' entries and discovering some great new books!

friday four fill-in

2011-06-10T06:16:00.000-05:00

Here's another fill-in meme (I think?) that I enjoy:

1. When I reflect back upon my life, I regret fearing what others thought of me and acting accordingly.

2. I really, really, really overuse the word really.

3. The first time I saw the beach/mountains was when I was two years old and we moved to California. I only know I saw the ocean, though, because we have pictures. I saw mountains, including Pike's Peak, in Colorado when I was about 7.

4. My bright, happy niece Maddie reminds me of the color yellow.

http://feelingbeachie.com/

close encounters...

2011-06-09T03:13:00.010-05:00

Every once in a while we run into a person, a stranger, who impacts our lives in a way that makes us think there was something more going on there...

Yesterday in Target my body went down the markers, etc. aisle even though my brain was screaming at me to keep walking and just get what I went in there for in the first place. A boy who looked about 10 or so was standing in the aisle, alone, holding a pack of markers. He was browsing, not panicking, so I smiled at him and browsed too. He walked up to me - at first I thought he would pass me, so I moved over. But he stopped in front of me and looked me straight in the eye; I could tell he wanted to say something. I assumed that even though I was wearing blue I looked incredibly competent, so I asked him if he needed help with anything. (Okay, I just read that sentence again. What I mean is I wasn't wearing the Target red and khaki!) He brushed my question off with a quick glance to the side, then looked back at me and said something, I can't remember what, but we talked about how we both loved this aisle and that he was a creative person. Then he began a 2- or 3-minute monologue about his imaginary friends, all of whom have names that start with S. He listed at least 10 names. He had a facial tick as he talked that made me think this topic was very important to him. He finished by insisting that since he created his friends, they can do whatever he wants them to do, and his mom and dad shouldn't get him in trouble when his friends do bad stuff. Sounds logical to me. Then he walked away...

I love it when that happens.

wish i'd thought of that...

2011-06-07T16:28:00.000-05:00

Oh, to get those years back!

transformation: june synchroblog

2011-06-03T20:41:00.092-05:00

In the early morning of June 3 I had a dream:

I am walking in a church yard. The large yard and white church have an "episcopal" feel to me. I am in a wedding dress, carrying a long-stemmed bouquet. I delight in the yard's many trees full of their white, yellow-green, and pink spring blooms. An image of a curly, gnarly tree limb flashes in my mind as an appropriate bouquet, but I think, "A dead twig? That wouldn't work." I look down the slope behind the church; in a small grove of cherry trees several young men and women are playing together like children, throwing blooms at each other, laughing, roughhousing. They are my bridesmaids and groomsmen, and are also dressed for the wedding. I smile, enjoying their merriment, and look up the slope and further into the distance. I watch the wind blow showers of pink blossoms down the slope, trees in the midst of their spring-to-summer transformation, the death of the blossoms and the birth of the fruit, the leaves...it is the end of the season, after all...death and life, dying and living...I am happy, deeply content, complete. I feel the wind and listen to it throwing blooms along with the others. I have a quiet smile on my face; I feel peaceful and happy. At rest. It is complete. It is finished? Where is my groom? I walk with the bridal party back to another church, the church where my wedding will take place. I enjoy the sound and the feel of the blooms and grass crunching softly under my feet. I look down; my dress is a faint rose color, my shoes are black - this strikes me as a very appropriate choice. When I enter the church, I learn that my husband-to-be is dead. I receive the news as right, appropriate, not macabre. He is dead, but he is still with me, in a new way. My smile, my faith, and my contentment do not waiver. I understand.

Passover celebrates the Israelites' freedom from enslavement in Egypt. Shavuot, the Jewish Pentecost, celebrates Yahweh's giving of the Torah to the Israelites at Mount Sinai not long after their release from Egypt. The Jewish Virtual Library says, "Passover freed us physically from bondage, but the giving of the Torah on Shavuot redeemed us spiritually from our bondage to idolatry and immorality."  From these events emerged Christian Pentecost, which celebrates the giving of the Holy Spirit to the followers of Christ and marks the beginning of a new way to know and worship God. These holidays might be seen as:

     Passover: freedom to worship Yahweh
     Shavuot: how to worship Yahweh
     Christian Pentecost: freedom to know and worship God in a new way,
            life from death, new communion with God

Does my dream foreshadow a transformation in my own communion with God? Regarding Shavuot, the Jewish Virtual Library says: "It is noteworthy that the holiday is called the time of the giving of the Torah, rather than the time of the receiving of the Torah. The sages point out that we are constantly in the process of receiving the Torah, that we receive it every day, but it was first given at this time." My knowledge of God, not only cognitive understanding but also the ways I experience him in my bones, in my soul, in my senses - and the ways in which I sense only his absence - is continuously evolving, always in creation. It looks like we have entered a new season of life together. It is time to celebrate.

This month's Synchroblog topic is "FAITH, FEASTS AND FORESHADOWING:

"The Jewish festival of Shavuot (or Pentecost) is a celebration of the giving of Torah....The Christian feast of Pentecost celebrates the outpouring of the Holy Spirit upon the Apostles in the book of Acts, ushering in the beginning of the church....For the June synchroblog we invite you to reflect on the foreshadowing that the Jewish celebration of Shavuot brings to the Christian feast of Pentecost. How does the Torah foreshadow the Holy Spirit? What can we learn from our forefathers that will enrich our faith? What are the parallels? What are the differences? These are some (but definitely not all) of the questions that might be explored in this synchroblog."

Here are the other participants' responses. Please consider joining us in July!
Kerri at Earth’s Crammed With Heaven… – Transformation
Sarita Brown at Gypsy Queen Journals – Pentecost: A Poem
Jeremy Myers at Till He Comes - The Incarnation of the Temple, Torah, and Land
Tammy Carter at Blessing the Beloved - Random Biblical Calendar Thoughts, Unity & Love
K. W. Leslie at More Christ – Pentecost
Liz Dyer at Grace Rules – We Cannot Capture The Wind
Emma Nadine at Life by List - An Outpouring of the Spirit
Marta Layton at Marta’s Mathoms - Shadow of Things to Come?
Abbie Waters at No Longer “Not Your Grandfather’s CPA” - Spiritual Gifts
Bill Sahlman at Creative Reflections - A “Wild Goose” Festival at Pentecost

Earth, Wind and Fire

Karen Scovill

friday fragments

2011-06-03T18:13:00.001-05:00

Signs that make me wonder:
A pet store's LCD sign advertizing "ant water bowls" for sale. Yes! I must have them! My ants deserve the best!

A gym offering "3 months free tanning this week." You mean I can get three months' worth of tanning done in a week? Great! Where can I get some cancer insurance?

Just plain witchiness:
A neighborhood cat hissed at me the other day when I walked into the back yard. Hey buddy, this is my yard. I hissed back; he jumped and ran off. Yes, I am the queen of catty.

Check out others' Friday Fragments and add your own at http://www.halfpastkissintime.com/2011/06/friday-fragments-episode-147.html!

goofiness with Grandpa

2011-06-02T09:04:00.000-05:00

Somebody ate his (Cream of) Wheaties this morning:

Grandpa: "You know what?"
me: "No, what?"
"That's what I'm wondering. I don't know what either."

Grandpa doing his word search puzzle: "'Payroll.' I can pay you now. I found the payroll."
me: "It's about time!"
(fake pitiful voice): "Well I'm sorry, I looked and looked and looked..."

Grandpa, looking at high school girls' soccer honorees in the paper: "I can't find you...where's your picture?"
me: "Huh?"
"You're not in here."
"Imagine that!"
(Grandpa giggling): "I'm so disappointed!"

Battle of the Sexes

2011-05-22T10:52:00.003-05:00

Travis looked at me. “Sarah,” he said, “please go see if there’s any coffee left.” I glared at him from the conference table and refused to budge. I was so tired of playing his games. I gave him my look, the one where I raise my left eyebrow. He stared back. I opened my mouth; I decided to let him have it this time. “Just because I’m the only-“ He cut me off. “Please don’t be insolent. You’re the newest member of this Fellowship, and that means it is your responsibility to take care of the menial tasks the rest of us don’t have time for.”

Travis was very smart. He was always reminding us of this. He loved words, and he especially loved hauling them out and holding them above us like a mother bird feeding her chicks, passing out one word at a time, believing we were not only dependent upon him for nourishment but actually reaching out and squealing for it.

I stood up. “Stop being such a jerk!” I said. “I’m not going to do your chores anymore! You said I would be an equal partner, and instead I get all the jobs no one else wants! Go get your own coffee!” At the table, the other group members looked at me in shocked silence. I didn’t care. “Can I speak to you in my office, please?” Travis said to me in a low, angry voice. “No,” I said. “You can talk to me right here. I’m sick of this boys club!”

“You asked to be part of this Fellowship,” Travis said. “We did not invite you. I thought you were smart enough to understand that I’m the leader of this group and I make the rules. You follow them.”

Now I was mad. “That’s it!” I shouted. “I’m sick of you and your Fellowship and your stupid pink bracelets!” I took mine off and threw it at him.

“They’re crimson wrist bands!” Travis screamed back. “That’s how we know who’s a member! And the Fellowship’s not stupid!”

“Well the name sure is! Why can’t you call it a club like normal people?”

“Because it’s NOT for normal people! It’s for smart people! Which means you’re not in it!”

“Well if I’m not in it then it’s a dumb club!”

“FELLOWSHIP!!!” Travis hollered. His face was the same color as his stupid crimson wrist band.

“Fellowship marshmallowship!” I said. “Quit using big words just to sound smart! You sound dumb! Get your own stupid coffee!” I said as I kicked his juice box across the gym floor. “And here’s your MAIL,” I threw a pile of worksheets at him, “and HERE’S. YOUR. PHONE!” I threw a beanbag at his head, but missed.

Travis pointed at me and laughed. “You throw like a girl!” he said.

“You smell like a boy!” I shot back as I threw another beanbag.

Travis jumped. “You capricious little gnat!“ he said. “YOU were the one begging to be a part of this cl- I mean, Fellowship!”

“Ha!” I crowed. “You’re so gross even YOU don’t know what you are!”

“Take that back!”

“Make me!”

Mr. Watterson, our teacher, began walking quickly across the crowded school gym toward us. I knew he was going to ask Travis to “illuminate” our “conflict” for him. He always talked with Travis like that. Sometimes it sounded like they were speaking in code, and thinking about that made me madder.

“I QUIT!” I yelled before Mr. W. reached us.

“Good!” Travis yelled back. “You were right! It WAS because you were the only girl that I made you do all those things! Because I knew you weren’t smart enough to be a partner!”

“I AM TOO!” I screamed. I turned around and stomped all the way over to an empty corner and slammed myself down on the gym floor. Boys were so stupid. And I hated indoor recess.

My challenge this week came from Maren at http://supermaren.com/. Maren is a mezzo-soprano and one of Indie Ink's hosts! The challenge: "Use the following words in a story: crimson, fellowship, capricious, illuminate." Check out Indie Ink for more information about the challenge. Here are the other challengers' posts:

A Lil Irish Lass challenges Amy: The Hands That Bind
alyssa ammirato challenges Illogical Being: Junior & Me
Amy challenges Head Ant: Bullied
Barb Black challenges Jason Hughes: Four Horsemen, Three Gods, a Transgendered Devil, and Lazarus Under a Pear Tree…
Binaryfootprint challenges A Lil Irish Lass: Glitter

Blackbird challenges Dee: All That We Are
Bran challenges Cope: Certainly the End of Something or Another
Cope challenges Joelyn: It is Madness I Say
D. R. Rux challenges transplantedx3: Faded Dreams
Dafeenah challenges Mare: vengeance or justice or whatever

Dee challenges K. Syrah: I’d Go Sailing
Dili challenges Sir: Rain
Disease challenges Random Girl: Hanging By A Moment
FlamingNyx challenges Katri: The Mother City
Head Ant challenges Mean Girl Garage: The Dinner Party
Illogical Being challenges D. R. Rux: Idiots Amongst Us
Jan challenges Blackbird: Mind Adventure Soundtrack

Jason Hughes challenges Binaryfootprint: Hello Darkness My Old Friend
Joelyn challenges Bran: Seriously, what the hell was I thinking?
K. Syrah challenges melissa: Indie Ink Challenge
Karla V challenges Disease: 7th Heaven
Katri challenges Seeking Elevation: Indie Ink Writing Challenge
Kerri challenges myplaidpants: Ordinary

Lazidaisical challenges Jan: Ring
Manju Vijayakumar challenges Karla V: The Witch
Mare challenges FlamingNyx: Balance
Mean Girl Garage challenges Tobie: Meanwhile In An Alternate Universe
melissa challenges alyssa ammirato: Breaking Bread

Michael Webb challenges Lazidaisical: Scraps
Miranda @ My Eclectic Book challenges Tara Roberts: Better Now
myplaidpants challenges Michael Webb: Young
Random Girl challenges Sid: Indie Ink Challenge Week 2
Runaway Sentence challenges Dili: Independence Day

Seeking Elevation challenges xtinabosco: Grampa’s Memory
Sid challenges Barb Black: Blank Canvas
Sir challenges Runaway Sentence: Trouble & Woe
Sunshine challenges Miranda @ My Eclectic Book: Wish Come True
Supermaren challenges Kerri: Battle of the Sexes

Tara Roberts challenges Sunshine: Hello Indie Ink Challenge Time Again
Tobie challenges Dafeenah: Apocalypse
transplantedx3 challenges Manju Vijayakumar: Why I Hated Mickey Mouse
Wendryn challenges Supermaren: Creation
xtinabosco challenges Wendryn: A New Breed

six-word saturday

2011-05-21T05:24:00.000-05:00

Brother's graduating. Just me and Grandpa!

Grandpa and I are getting some quality time this weekend as my parents attend SLBWAD's graduation. And there's no Andy Griffith on the weekends! Thank goodness we have DVDs. :) I just figured out how to add this button as a link versus a picture! I'm a rock star!

a small stone

2011-05-20T10:08:00.004-05:00

Water pours down today in south-central Kansas.
What a storm!
I love the rain.

River of Stones

Friday Fill-Ins

2011-05-19T19:53:00.000-05:00

I've been playing around on different writing sites - for fun, to discover other bloggers and see what they are writing, and to stretch my brain. Friday Fill-Ins is a fun activity (what a lame sentence; I need to work on that):

1. I see trees of green, red roses- dang it, someone already put that!

2. When I get home from work, I like to take off my shoes, take off my bra, and scratch. I bet no one put that! Ha!

3. They begin life so small, don't they? (yet-to-be-born baby with spina bifida being operated on in the womb)

4. I really could keep two or more thoughts in my head at the same time so many years earlier.

5. This I know: I can't remember...

6. I love to eat breakfast (and dessert) for dinner.

7. As for the weekend... I'm hanging out with Grandpa!

creative community website

2011-05-19T09:32:00.000-05:00

Are you creative? Have you heard of Charlie Peacock? Check out this community he founded with his wife! http://www.arthouseamerica.com

(Thank you, Self Sagacity!)

eavesdropping on kerri and grandpa

2011-05-18T12:47:00.000-05:00

Grandpa: "What was the first Andy Griffith again?" (the first of 2 shows daily)
Me: "The one with Thelma Lou's cousin and Gomer."
"Huh?"
"THELMA LOU'S COUSIN AND GOMER!"
(confused pause) "What?"
"THELMA LOU'S COUSIN AND GOMER AND THE DANCE!!!"
"Oh yeah, the dance."

One hour later:

Grandpa: "I've already forgotten what the first Andy Griffith was."
Me: "Hmm."
"What was it again?"
"Barney set up Thelma Lou's cousin and Gomer to go to the dance!"
(longer pause) "Now slow it down for me - what did you say it was?"
(brief prayer) "THE DANCE!!!"
"The dance..."
"THELMA LOU'S COUSIN! GOMER!"
"No, that was the second one."
(longer prayer) "NO, THE SECOND ONE WAS BARNEY IN JAIL!"
"Huh?"
"THE. SECOND. ONE. WAS. BARNEY. GOT. PUT. IN. JAIL - CITIZEN'S. ARREST!!!"
"Oh yeah. You're right."
"Thank you!"
"Huh?"

an extraordinary life

2011-05-17T05:04:00.000-05:00

Have you ever been in a movie? Built B-24 bombers during WWII? Owned your own business? Traveled the world? How about tracked down a niece and nephew in foster care, fought and worked through the red tape and bureaucracy to gain custody, threatened to get your lawyer involved, then got awarded the children because you're scary enough without the lawyer? My great-aunt Leota did all of those things, and more. She died last week at the age of 86, having lived life on her own terms. She never married, never had children, kicked...butt on her bowling team, and spoke her mind. She said to me one day years ago, "Looks like you're going to be a lot like me," and I consider it the best compliment I've ever received. Leota, I'd be proud to be a little like you. Thank you for all you did for so many people, just by being brave enough to be yourself. You were remarkable.

my god, my god...

2011-05-16T20:59:00.469-05:00

One night last week I couldn't sleep and decided to skip around the net to see what I could see. I discovered the Indie Ink Writing Challenge. "Hmm," I thought, "This looks interesting. Participants pass around writing prompts and use the prompt they receive in a blog post that week. That sounds like fun." (Yes, that is how clearly I think in the middle of the night; why do you ask?) And, as I often do at that time of day, I signed up first and read more about the challenge second. "Oh crap. These people don't fool around. There's some really good stuff here." And so I closed my eyes, crossed my fingers, and prayed my prompt would be something like, "Once upon a time...." Instead, I got this from Random Girl:

"You lost your faith. How is life different now?"

Wow. So much for splashing around in the shallow end!

A loss of faith would be a loss of Love more than a loss of belief for me. Or a loss of the ability to sense that Love in any way. Without my faith I would have an indescribable ache, a terrible longing for God. Fear, confusion, and anger would be present at different times. But in the midst of this dark night of the senses or the soul I would choose to believe regardless of how I felt or what I understood. I have made that choice a number of times in the midst of depression. That choice does not make living a life without Love, or a sense of Love, any easier, though. Life would often be hell. But, when I had the strength, I would pursue God as relentlessly as he pursues me.

"Woman Weeping"

Vincent Van Gogh

I've been writing notes and thinking about this for 24 hours, and I can already tell you it won't be done by the deadline Thursday evening. There is something more going on here.

In Clinging: The Experience of Prayer, Emilie Griffin writes: "C. S. Lewis wrote of a practice...that he called festooning. Festooning, Lewis explained, was taking a familiar prayer, such as the Lord's prayer, and elaborating it, adding one's own intentions on at various points in the prayer until this elaboration became a ritual unto itself."

I wrote and scrapped a few rough drafts before it dawned on me that a song I've been drawn to recently fits well with my evolving response to this prompt. As I read the lyrics of this song, several related things come to me: a book mentioned by a friend last week, a book that friend recommended to me 20 years ago, Psalm 22, The Song of Songs, the gospels, a book titled Clinging, a favorite book since childhood, and "Christmas Canon" by Trans-Siberian Orchestra (TSO). I am in the midst of weaving all of these things together before festooning it with my own thoughts, which I'm not fully aware of yet. And I will probably choose not to share those thoughts here. There are some things revealed in secret that are meant to be kept secret. But here is what I've processed to this point:

"Wuthering Heights" Kate Bush
Out on the wiley, windy moors
we'd roll and fall in green (your love is more delightful than wine)
You had a temper, like my jealousy
too hot, too greedy
How could you leave me (I looked for him but did not find him)
When I needed to possess you? (He's wild, you know. Not like a tame lion.)
I hated you, I loved you too (my God, I call by day but you do not answer,)

Bad dreams in the night (I call at night but I find no respite)
They told me I was going to lose the fight (all who see me jeer at me)
Leave behind my wuthering, wuthering (the Spirit blows where it pleases;)
Wuthering Heights (you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going)

Heathcliff, it's me, Cathy, I've come home (my God, my God)
I'm so cold, let me in your window (do not remain aloof!)
Heathcliff, it's me, Cathy, I've come home (my God, my God)
I'm so cold, let me in your window (do not remain aloof!)

Oh it gets dark, it gets lonely (my God! my God!)
On the other side from you (why have you forsaken me?)
I pine a lot, I find the lot (All night long on my bed I looked for the one my heart loves)
Falls through without you (I looked for him but did not find him)
I'm coming back love, cruel Heathcliff (before I knew it, my desire had hurled me at the chariots)
My one dream, my only master (in him I live and move and have my being)

Too long I roam in the night (all night long...I looked for the one my heart loves)
I'm coming back to his side to put it right (I shall seek my love)
I'm coming home to wuthering, wuthering (Awake, north wind,)
Wuthering Heights (and come, south wind!)

Heathcliff, it's me, Cathy, I've come home
I'm so cold, let me in your window
Heathcliff, it's me, Cathy, I've come home
I'm so cold, let me in your window

Oh let me have it, let me grab your soul away (I held him fast, nor would I let him go)
Oh let me have it, let me grab your soul away
You know it's me, Cathy

From the sixth hour there was darkness over all the land until the ninth hour. And about the ninth hour, Jesus cried out in a loud voice..."My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"

"Three Crosses"

Rembrandt

Jesus, why have you forsaken me?

Vincent Van Gogh:
"'The Roots' shows some tree roots on sandy ground....I tried to put sentiment into the landscape...the convulsive, passionate clinging to the earth, and yet being half torn up by the storm, I wanted to express something of the struggle for life...in the black, gnarled and knotty roots."

Madeleine L'Engle, The Weather of the Heart:
You're supposed to do the knocking. Why do you burst my heart?...

     Dear God
     is it too much to ask you
     to bother to be?

"We are waiting; we have not forgotten..."

"Christmas Canon," TSO

"Reach"

Robert Hodgell

(How it ends):

And suddenly, the veil of the Sanctuary was torn in two from top to bottom, the earth quaked, the rocks were split...(Jesus' body was taken to a tomb). Meanwhile the women who had come from Galilee with Jesus were following behind. They took note of the tomb and how the body had been laid. Then they returned...and on the Sabbath day (the next day) they rested, as the Law required.

I slept but my heart was awake...

"Three Trees"

Rembrandt

...he has fulfilled it.

2011-05-16T08:52:00.000-05:00

Today I pray with Crys from A Life In Ordinary. I don't have anything of my own to add at this time, so I lift up Crys's prayer as my own. What are you praying for?

thank you, Princess Mommy Pants!

2011-05-15T16:22:00.001-05:00

Parenting - This Crazy Beautiful Life i.e., Princess Mommy Pants, has brightened my day with The Versatile Blogger award! PMP wrote a beautiful note to the bloggers she passed the award on to. Go check her out!

I've seen two sets of rules that accompany this award. This set of rules asks me to tell you 7 things about myself and pass the award on to 15 recently-discovered bloggers. Let's talk about me first:

1. Today I found a badge that said "Blogging without Giveahootery." I love that concept - not getting caught up in how many followers, page views, etc. etc. you have. It's wonderful to be able to write freely and let readers come to you as they may.

2. I don't know if I have 15 recently-discovered bloggers; we're about to find out. But in addition to bloggers I've found some great blogging groups and websites, so I'll cheat a bit if I have to. See? There I go breaking the rules again.

3. I will probably be moving this fall or winter. I don't know where or when, and I don't give a hoot! (I mean I'm at peace with not knowing.)

4...I'm drawing a blank. Happens a lot.

5. I like beads.

6. I'm re-learning algebra for a student I'm tutoring, and I love it.

7. i.e., I'm a geek.

Fifteen sites and briefly why - in no particular order:

1. http://myyearofhugs.com/ - what would happen if we tried this?

2. http://www.theturnipfarmer.com/ - lovely art, insight, and humor

3. http://kyliesconversations.blogspot.com/ - I'm intrigued by her writing and interests

4. http://dthaase-lines.blogspot.com/ - wonderful, whimsical art and comments

5. http://www.returntorural.com/ - again, her writing and interests drew me in

6. http://mypeacefulvalley.blogspot.com/ - she pays attention - watch out for Mama Bear!

7. http://livingmontessorinow.com/ - I love the Montessori way of teaching - great info. here

8. http://creativeclutter-mel.blogspot.com/ - art, humor, insight

9. http://ropcorn.com/ - reflections on her life in Sweden - you must see her bee close-ups!

10. http://outofclutter365photo.blogspot.com/ - so like me and in some ways so different - stretches my perspective

11. http://www.wynniebee.com/ - I enjoy her blog hops, group blogging activities, and blog tips

12. http://www.mommyalwayswrites.com/ - I love her writing style, photography, and art - (the fact that she's my cousin has nothing to do with this!)

13. http://thedreheradventure.blogspot.com/ - another cousin, who takes WONDERFUL professional photos

14. http://www.ashleysisk.com/ - I love the photo scavenger hunt!

15. http://liferearranged.com/2011/05/instafriday-2/ - another fun photo activity!

Spend some time on these sites - they're worth it!

a reminder to myself

2011-05-15T14:19:00.001-05:00

"Old people like for others to listen to them. In some places we have groups of Co-Workers whose main responsibility is to listen. They visit typical homes, especially of older people, sit down with them, and let them talk and talk to give them the satisfaction of being listened to. The older people, I repeat, love this even though they may not have much else to say other than unimportant things - to others, obviously, not to them - that happened a long time ago.

"To listen to someone who has no one to listen to him is a very beautiful thing."

Mother Teresa

charming grandpa

2011-05-15T14:14:00.000-05:00

Grandpa charmed the socks off another person yesterday. A substitute nurse came by to check his vitals and ask some routine questions. I wasn't in the room, but I could hear Grandpa yakkin' (his word) away.... As she left, the nurse said, "He's so sweet!" He sure is. Usually.

After the nurse left, Grandpa kept fussing with the blanket on his lap, which had been moved during her visit. I adjusted it, found the Kleenex he keeps hidden under it, and handed it to him. He still kept fussing with the blanket. "Is everything okay?" I asked. "Oh, yes, this is just messy and I don't want it to bother your father," he said. The blanket was bunched up a bit and not lying perfectly straight (it has a plaid pattern; the stripes were crooked!). I think I've mentioned before that we have a slight streak of particularity (particularness?) in our family. Wait...in our family we have a slight streak...hang on, a slight streak of particularity runs.... Oh well. "Yeah right!" I said. "I think it's bothering someone else!" and I tapped him on the chest. He laughed and shook his head. Give it up, Grandpa; I know all your secrets now!

a small stone

2011-05-15T01:31:00.005-05:00

http://ariverofstones.blogspot.com/

A website that lifts my spirit,

reminds me to pay attention,

and encourages me to record what I see.

This draws me to God.

whimsical wednesday

2011-05-14T13:24:00.000-05:00

I loved to jumprope (jump rope?) as a child. The other day I thought it might be a fun way to get some exercise. It wasn't.

And yes, for those of you who know me, I am aware that today is not Wednesday. I just saw this and wanted to participate! Check out the website at http://dthaase-lines.blogspot.com/p/whimsical-wednesday.html!

six-word saturday

2011-05-14T12:47:00.000-05:00

Love MB - had a wonderful talk!

MB has been my friend, mentor, encourager, teacher, and spiritual caregiver for over 20 years.

synchroblog

2011-05-13T22:17:00.003-05:00

This post is for the May synchroblog, Life Unfurling. This month bloggers write about what they've learned and gained by letting go of something they once held tightly. Last fall I went through a process of loss and grace that I wrote about in choosing a sometimes extravagant and ridiculous life, grief and gratitude, and saying goodbye. Rather than rewriting all of this, I hope referencing these posts will be okay. I love the synchroblog idea! As a result of these losses I've experienced how faithful and loving God is. In my greatest time of need, as in my not-so-great, God cares for and takes care of me, even when I cannot sense it. Being given a greater understanding of God's care and faithfulness is a richness that cannot be put into words, so I encourage you to let go of something which you may be holding too tightly and see for yourself how high and deep God's love is, from which we are never separated.

Take a gander at the other entries!

John Martinez at Indie Faith – Letting Go of the Holy Me

Beth Patterson at Finding Ground – What is Passed Over is Not Love

Jeremy Myers at Till He Comes – Help, I’m Lost and Can’t Find Myself

Ellen Haroutunian – Life Unfurling

Marta Layton – On Burdens, Blessings, Babies and Bathwater

Alan Knox at The Assembling of Church – Where Did I Go?

Crystal Lewis – What Happened When I Let Go

Pam Hogeweide at How God Messed Up My Religion – Letting Go of a Church-Centered Me

K.W. Leslie at the Evening of Kent – Legalism, Anti-Legalism, and Anti-Anti-Legalism

Ryan Harrison at How We Spend Our Days – Scraping the Barnacles

Kathy Escobar at The Carnival in My Head - Letting God Off the Hook

Christine Sine at Godspace – Giving Up For God, What Does it Cost?

Liz Dyer at Grace Rules – What Do You Do When You Are Not Sure

Dan Brennan at Faith Dance – Letting Go for a Greater Good

Elaine Hansen – Recovering Control Freak – Let Go?

Wendy McCaig at View From the Bridge - Embracing the Grey

Chris at The Amplified Life - Seasons of Life

Kerri at Practicing Contemplative - Synchroblog

Jeff Goins - What You Get From Giving: The Paradox of Generosity

Jules Kennedy – Letting Go…Watching the Rope Come Apart

you know...

2011-05-13T21:54:00.000-05:00

You know it's not going to be one of your better days when:

- on the way to your car, you drop your pants. No, no, the extra pair you're carrying. And did I mention it's raining outside, so they get all wet? And that they're dressy pants, not roll-around-on-the-dirty-wet-driveway-pants?

- at the gas station the wind is so high it blows your gas cap off your car trunk while you're in the store getting comfort food.

- as you look high and low for your gas cap, a note you're holding onto blows out of your hand. Why you were carrying the note in the first place, since you didn't need it to get gas, is a mystery. But it's your lucky day, and the note doesn't blow away because a big, wet puddle catches it. Yay, wet note with smeared reminders.

- you find your gas cap under the car, and you pull up a bit so you can retrieve it. As you bend over, a large pickup truck pulls in behind you and nearly rear-ends you, literally.

- you get kicked out of an online group because you didn't quite play by the rules. Yeah, I know, it was a consequence I that I chose to risk, but it still makes me cranky.

- your grandfather finishes his lunch and bangs his cup on the TV tray, yelling, "I'm done!" then, when you don't budge in the next second (I swear only a second passed) he bangs the cup harder, "I'M DONE!!!"

TGIF!

friday book memes

2011-05-13T21:44:00.000-05:00

I found a couple of memes related to books that look like fun. Would you like to know what a meme is? So would I. There are lots of definitions on the net; let me know when you figure it out.

The Friday 56 is hosted by Freda's Voice, and the rules are:

"Grab a book, any book.

Turn to page 56.

Find any sentence that grabs you.

Post it.

Add your (url) post below in Linky.

It's that simple."

I've been carrying around Madeleine L'Engle's A Wind in the Door because I want to reread it and think about the children and other characters learning to name and love the evil Echthroi. On page 56:

"It is a constant amazement to me," the cherubim thought at them, "that so many earthling artists paint cherubim to resemble baby pigs."

Book beginnings is hosted by A Few More Pages, and its rules are:

"Share the first line (or two) of the book you are currently reading

on your blog or in the comments. Include the title and the author

so we know what you're reading. Then, if you would like, let us know

what your first impressions were based on that first line,

and let us know if you liked or did not like the sentence."

From Right Ho, Jeeves by P.G. Wodehouse:

"Jeeves," I said. "May I speak frankly?"

"Certainly, Sir."

"What I have to say may wound you."

"Not at all, Sir."

"Well then-" No. Wait. Hold the line a minute, I've gone off the rails. I don't know if you have had the same experience, but the snag I always come up against when I'm telling a story is this dashed difficult problem of where to begin it. It's a thing you don't want to go wrong over, because one false step and you're sunk. I mean, if you fool about too long at the start, trying to establish atmosphere, as they call it, and all that sort of rot, you fail to grip, and the customers walk out on you. Get off the mark on the other hand like a scalded cat, and your public's at a loss. It simply raises its eyebrows and can't make out what you're talking about.

You can't go wrong with Wodehouse, so I suppose I've chosen an easy one here, but I love his out-of-the-box humor and plot twists. I also love Bertie's (the speaker) eyeroll attitude of "atmosphere."

evidence

2011-05-13T16:21:00.003-05:00

Today (Thursday) is my stupid-little-brother-with-a-doctorate's birthday, so I think this would be the perfect time to whip out my evidence of his destruction of my birthday cake when I turned 8. (OMG, my nephew is turning 8 this summer! Where does the time go?) Wait, I've counted, checked, and double-checked, and there seem to be only 7 candles on that cake - I could've sworn this was when I was in 2nd grade...oh, brother must have stolen one. Do you see the huge hole he dug out of the cake? It's right there, the highest corner of the cake in the picture! Come on! Well, Stephanie feels my pain.

Happy Birthday, SLBWAD. I hope it's great!

This is brother and I (and his snot mustache - or maybe it's Silly Putty) with Old Papa, our great-grandfather. Brother gave him that name, and it stuck. Now my 2nd cousins call my grandpa Old Papa. Old Papa called my brother "Peanut."

Peanut's wife does, too.

it's a party, and you've gotta' see this place!

2011-05-12T11:09:00.000-05:00

This is the retreat center in the flint hills that I went to in December and April. It's well worth a look!

Tallgrass Spiritual Retreat Center will be TEN years old in June!

~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

* * * * To celebrate, we’re planning a * * *

Party on the Prairie

* * * * * and calling it * * * * *

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

* * * * * T@T * * * * *

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

* * * * * Ten @ Tallgrass: * * * * *

What a Difference a Decade Makes

June 25, 2011 11:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m.

at Tallgrass Spiritual Retreat Center

1780 Thurman Creek Road

Matfield Green, KS 66862

Women who have experienced the Retreat Center are invited to come help us celebrate.

Bring a friend to introduce her to Tallgrass Spiritual Retreat Center.

Women who have yet to experience Tallgrass are invited to come see what’s here.

Lunch will be available (free-will offering requested)

Grilled Burgers, Chips, and a Drink

Walk the Labyrinth, walk to the creek, create SoulCollage® with Hazel Hutchinson*

See the eAuction items on display.

Enjoy a gentle day in the country.

Bless Billie with your presence and a hug!

It’s a Birthday Party, so we’ll have CUPCAKES and ICE CREAM!

~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~

*A note from Hazel Hutchinson:

I will bring a selection of cards so guests can see and ask questions about SoulCollage®.

The focus of the day, will be offering an opportunity for guests to make a SoulCollage®

card to honor the presence/significance of Tallgrass Spiritual Retreat Center in the

participant’s life or to make a SoulCollage® card to Bless TSRC into the future.

A note from Billie Blair, Director:

We’ve been here for TEN years! Can you believe it?! The years have gone by quickly.

I’ve enjoyed each and every person who has come to Tallgrass over the years. I hope

to see many of you again on June 25th, to help us celebrate. A great team of women

has been working to make this happen for the Center. We’ll have good food, things

to do and see, and we’re working on providing some live entertainment!

I tell folks who ask about this ministry that I feel like what I’m doing here is

not only what I believe I’m called to do, but I’m doing what God created me to do -

walk with women along their path for awhile, supporting, caring, just being with them

at times, as well as encouraging them to find their healing and their passion in life.

I’ve ben honored to work with some wonderful facilitators, offering a range of retreats

from clearing clutter to finding our passions, to working with horses to find oneself.

We’ve participated in the Forgiveness Ceremony, told stories, made prayer flags, beads,

and sticks. We’ve had a harpist, singers, writers, and other artists here. We’ve taken

wildflower walks and made paper with prairie plants. . . and sometimes women came

alone or with a friend to find time and space to rest, reflect and restore.

It’s been an incredible ten years for me. I’ve learned so much from YOU.

Thank you for sharing the gift of who you are with me. I’d love to see many

of you come join us for this special-to-me day!

My sister will be here in the evening, gifting the Retreat Center and anyone who wants to stay

with an outdoor movie. The movie will start after dark, of course, so folks might want to tour a little of

Chase County, have supper at the Hitching Post in Matfield Green (or bring a sack supper and picnic

in the Center’s yard), then join us about 9 for the movie. We don’t know yet what movie we’ll be viewing,

but just imagine sitting under the stars. eating popcorn and watching a movie together!

Please bring a lawn chair or blanket to sit on.

With you all in God’s holy embrace,

Billie

Rev. Billie Blair, Pastor in the Pasture
Tallgrass Spiritual Retreat Center
1780 Thurman Creek Road
Matfield Green, KS 66862
phone: 620.753.3465
email: tallgrassretreats@wheatstate.com
website: www.tallgrassretreats.com

the longest ride and the 2nd-best summer: 80's radio at its best

2011-05-10T14:20:00.004-05:00

I went to high school in the mid-1980's. In my freshman year, we lived about an hour away from the private school I attended and where Dad taught Spanish. Since Dad was a faculty member, he needed to be at the school about an hour before and after regular school hours. So we would head out at 6:00 every morning and make the long, slow drive to school, uphill and only 55 m.p.h. - both ways!* It was fantastic. I used the time to work on my beauty sleep (just let it go...).

Dad would have loved to do likewise. Instead, he kept himself awake with the easy-listening radio station. (Yes, you read that right. Easy listening was the closest Dad ever got to rocking out.) Personally, I wasn't a big fan of easy listening, especially the Musak-style versions of rock and pop songs. But I was all for Dad staying awake while I slept, so I kept my opinions to myself.

Sometimes Dad whistled along with the songs - potentially mortifying for the young teenager, but tolerable.

But when his favorite song came on, Dad couldn't help himself. He had to sing along: "There was something in the air that night, the stars were bright, Fernando. They were shining there for you and me, for liberty, Fernando...." Yes, I think my dad was a closet ABBA fan. He was, at least, a Fernando fan. I assumed because the guy sounded Spanish, but who knows.

I was unable to sleep through that gem. All I could do was pray that my classmates hadn't hidden a video camera in the car somewhere and that "Fernando" would end before we got to school.

The summer after my sophomore year, however, I made up for the Musak trauma. I took an algebra class in the mornings. It was the glory days of my critical thinking skills, and my nerdy self enjoyed the math so much it was more like solving puzzles than doing homework. But even better than the math was the drive to and from school - ALONE. We had moved closer to the school by then, but I still had time to blast whatever station I wanted to hear and to sing along before changing the station back when I got home. I was SO cool.

The icing on the cake that summer was the afternoons, when I floated in our above-ground pool and worked on my tan. Oh to be 16 and super-cool again! :)

*Thanks, little brother!

Play Way Back When-esday with us!

befuddlement with grandpa

2011-05-09T10:58:00.001-05:00

Poor Grandpa. He wants so little, and he gets exactly what he asks for. Today he wanted to trim a fingernail but was having trouble getting a small bit on the end smoothed out. The nail was very short, so I was reluctant to try cutting it any further. I am a klutz and a ditz; fortunately, I know that much. I was sure I'd hurt Grandpa if I tried to cut the nail. I explained this to him, and he continued to work with his clippers and file - one set of several that he keeps in a small box. The Andy Griffith Show was playing loudly on the TV, I was "working" online, and Grandpa mumbled at me (or so it seemed):

Grandpa: (mumble mumble)
Me: "Huh?"
(mumble mumble)
I got up and moved to his side: "What?"
"WHAT IS YOUR JOB?"
(my laughter) "It's to take care of you without hurting you!"
"Huh?"
"I'm afraid of hurting you if I try to trim your nail."
Grandpa shook his head. "Yeah, but what do you do with your kids (students)? Are you tutoring now?"
"Oh! Yes."
"Would they like to have any of my clippers?"
"No thank you, I'm afraid they'd hurt themselves."
Grandpa smiled and nodded, and a look of "Thank goodness she finally got it. Good grief!" passed over his face. I'm going to get us matching "Huh?" t-shirts.

babysitting tips for sloths, part 2

2011-05-09T10:40:00.000-05:00

Along with television, I've discovered another way to keep kids occupied with as little effort as possible:

1. Take big purse full of books, receipts, cards, money, etc. to child's house.
2. Place big purse tantalizingly where the child can see it but it is supposedly out of the way.
3. Allow child to carefully approach purse; watch for danger but otherwise pretend oblivion (unless it comes naturally to you).
4. Help child lug ten-ton purse to large floor space.
5. Continue watching for danger to child and personal items, and allow child to explore to her heart's content!
6. Take pictures with your camera phone to commemorate the event (except when child is monopolizing the phone).

whoa, dude...

2011-05-03T14:02:00.000-05:00

I love this picture from National Geographic and the captions it brings to mind. What can you come up with?

"Whoa, dude...black and white?! You really need an upgrade."

"Oh no, it's Mr. Bill the oxpecker!"

huh?

2011-05-02T15:18:00.001-05:00

Grandpa and I just had the following conversation. What makes me laugh is that either one of us could have asked the question...

"Is today Tuesday?"
"Monday."
"Huh?"
"Monday!"
"It's not Sunday."
"M-M-M-O-N-D-A-Y!"
"Oh, Monday."

sittin' pretty with grandpa

2011-05-02T10:46:00.003-05:00

Grandpa's got a spiffy new chair that reclines and stands him up with the push of two buttons. Dad was showing me how it works, and Grandpa said, "And if you hold that button down a while it flips me over!" He won't let me try it, though. :)

Here's my new view of Gpa from the couch. The easier to be sneaky with, but the harder to converse with; we'll figure something out. Or maybe that was his plan all along...

may day memories

2011-05-01T15:14:00.000-05:00

When I was 5-ish my mom taught me about May Day. We made baskets from construction paper, filled them with flowers from our garden, and I hung them on our neighbors' doorknobs, rang the doorbell, and ran. I loved the time Mom & I spent together and the delighted surprise of our neighbors. Happy May Day to you!

reflections on the A to Z challenge

2011-05-01T14:39:00.001-05:00

Many thanks to Arlee Bird at Tossing it Out and several others for hosting the A-Z Blogging Challenge in April! Also, thank you Elizabeth Mueller for making us a great award - we made it to Z - woo hoo! Participants have been asked to reflect on their experiences with the challenge and link their posts with others on Bird's and Mueller's websites (and probably others). There are quite a few people who participated; visit the sites to see a variety of blogs! This was my first group blogging activity, and I had a lot of fun. My participation didn't go quite as planned - I started late, then I was without my computer for a week - so I had two posts with chunks of letters along with a few posts featuring one letter (which was the intent of the challenge). However, since I'd already learned that if you want to make God laugh, make plans, I adjusted well. :) (Okay, I threw a hissy fit when my computer took so long to fix, but let's move on.) I loved the prompts the letters gave to write something new. I grew creatively with this challenge. I loved reading how others dealt so differently and creatively with the same letters. I also enjoyed the community feel of the challege as we all strove to write something fresh, visited each other's sites, and wondered what the heck begins with X besides x-ray and xylophone. And I really appreciate the visits of Arlee and other hosts to our sites and the comments they shared. Thanks again to all of the people who made this work; I can't wait to see what's next!

yeah baby!

2011-04-30T11:43:00.003-05:00

Pam at radical ramblings and thoughts of a southern girl has given me The Versatile Blogger award! I love the picture - was very tempted to copy and paste it onto my blog a while ago just because it's pretty, but I controlled myself. This means a lot coming from Pam because I enjoy her blog so much and just know if we met we wouldn't shut up for a week. Someday...

Okay, you got me - I also wanted this award for egotistical reasons. I'm trying to get over it. In the meantime, I'm absolutely giddy. The award comes with some rules:

1. Winners- Put the above image in your blog. Legitimately done - woo hoo!

2. Include a link back to the person who gave it to you. That's Pam up there at radical ramblings...

3. Tell 10 things about yourself Ick - if you read this blog regularly you probably know too much. Here's some stuff you may not know:

- I graduated from college after 11 years and 5 universities

- my initials are the same as my dad's - I love that

- my 6th (?) cousin was Robert Wadlow, in Guinness and Ripley's as the tallest man ever, 'though he's got some competition

- in 4th grade I almost beat out a 6th-grader in the school spelling bee, but "gesture" was my downfall

- I love children's books and I only pretend it's just because I'm a teacher/tutor

- I am secretly married to Johnny Depp - even he doesn't know it

- I've only owned 2 cars so far: a Tercel I had for 11 years, and my current car, also 11 years (and would someone please come total it so I can get a Land Rover?!)

- I am addicted to pop - or soda - whatever you call it where you are - Coke is my favorite, but I've gotta' watch the calories, so Diet Dr. Pepper is my alternate 1st choice

- I am also currently addicted to the Tetris demo on my phone

- the decade of 2000-2009 (the aughts) has seriously messed with my ability to accurately recall how long ago anything happened - I did well in math in school, but now when I count back to a particular event I always leave those years out - don't tell the kid I will soon be tutoring in math as well as reading - what he doesn't know won't hurt him - hey, I should put that on my business cards...

4. Award 3 other bloggers

I'm going to see if I can find 3 that I really like that haven't been given this award yet. This will be difficult, because I have exquisite taste.

Okay; I stongly suspect at least one of the following has been given this award - can't imagine him/her without it, but I found no evidence of it on their sites, so here goes:

I first visited Rita's blog, http://surrenderdorothy.typepad.com/, because I liked the title, and I love the picture at the top. Then I read her blog and now I can't stop. Read her recent posts about her daughter and the Easter Bunny.

"oldegg" at Robin's Nest: http://basketrange.blogspot.com/ is another person I'd enjoy meeting. He's thoughtful, insightful, and funny.

http://www.ironiccatholic.com/ - ironic, insightful, funny - what's not to love?

I enjoy Sherri's perspective of life and the way she writes about it at Messy Mind: http://www.sherristakes.com/

Honorable mention goes to the blog that I'd award this to first, but based on her FAQ page I think if I did she'd hunt me down and do something terrible. This woman makes me laugh until I cry - in a good way.

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/

Hmm. That looks like 5 blogs, not 3. Oh well; I haven't crossed off "learn to count" from my Project 52 list yet.

5. Contact the bloggers you awarded and let them know they won. I'm off!

five question friday

2011-04-30T01:45:00.000-05:00

#1: What day is it? Oh, you're asking the questions? Okay...

1. If you could buy any car, money not an option, what would it be?

Any of James Bond's cars outfitted by Q so that my road irritation fantasies can come true.

2. What was your worst first date ever?

Went out with the guy and his group of friends; they spent the entire time talking about pro wrestling.

3. How old were you when you fell in love for the first time?

If dogs count, around 5. If not, around 30. If crushes count, back to age 5 (this one was a human).

4. When was the last time you reconciled your checkbook?

Hey - where is my checkbook?!

5. If you were going to fashion a "Wanted" Ad for a best friend, how would you word it?

Wanted: extremely patient, slightly kooky person who thinks a lot about God and life...wait, that's me....Wanted: a wealthy person to pay all of my expenses...no, that's not right, hang on....Wanted: someone to do all of my domestic chores for me...no...Wanted: all of the above.

Thank you, http://fivecrookedhalos.blogspot.com/, for a fun activity!

quote of the day

2011-04-29T11:13:00.001-05:00

From the TV show "Gunsmoke":
"Friend, I asked myself a question once, and I got the wrong answer. I don't ask myself nuttin' no more." :)

fingerprint friday

2011-04-29T09:50:00.001-05:00

Grandpa doing a word search puzzle. Right now, he's laughing and clapping at Barney's antics on The Andy Griffith Show. He likes to watch it with the lights off, though, so I don't have a good picture. :)

Recent funnies from Grandpa:

Grandpa worked for the plane manufacturer Beechcraft for 40+ years. He likes pictures of planes. The other day he saw one in the newspaper and said, "Hey, here's a nice airplane...oh, it's a Boeing. Never mind."

Grandpa talks back to the people in the commercials we see over and over and over. Yesterday, he lost his patience with the guy who says "I can stay in my own home!" because he doesn't have to move into a nursing home since he got his scooter: "You told us that before! Stay in your home! You're getting as bad as a woman!"

(I gotta' go - Grandpa likes to eat lunch early and pretends to faint when he's hungry. His fake sighs have just gone from silly to melodramatic to ridiculous.)

Beki, the hostess of "Fingerprint Friday," has a wonderful post today:
http://www.blog.therustedchain.com/2011/04/fingerprint-friday_29.html

ABC to XYZ

2011-04-28T11:48:00.001-05:00

We thought we were so clever with the XYZ thing in grade school. When someone added ABC, we were at the height of wit and creativity. "Always be careful to check your zipper!" It never got old.

I cut out this picture on my recent retreat. I thought it was funny. Get your mind out of the gutter, it's a roadside emergency kit. It says so right between her legs.

I played it safe in childhood. I was (still am, I guess) the oldest child of an oldest child (6 kids in that family) and a second-oldest child (4 kids). I was the oldest grandchild in town; a couple of slightly-older cousins lived in another state. I got lots of attention. It was wonderful. Life was blessedly simple.

If we are very fortunate, we grow up in a world where we are kept safe. Our parents or other caregivers teach us to look both ways before crossing the street, don't talk to strangers, and don't run with Barbie coatracks. This structure of safety allows us to play freely. Accidents happen, of course, and we make mistakes. Tragedies occur. Hopefully someone does his/her best to see that our Safety Girl kits are fully stocked and checked regularly.

(I actually climbed higher in this tree; it was my favorite. I don't know why Mom took a picture when I was hanging from it like a sloth. Or maybe I do. I don't remember it being dead, either. Oh well. It was my tree.)

In my late teens I began to grow tired of Safety Girl. Adventure Girl no longer wanted to ride in the back seat; she was ready to drive. Or fly, rather.

In my early 20's, I loaded up my car, moved to a Chicago suburb, and tossed my safety kit out the window. I had an interesting relationship. I talked to strangers. I even stopped going to church! I had the opportunity to see that some of those things in my safety kit were pretty useful; fortunately, it didn't take a traumatic experience for me to realize that. So I got another safety kit. An empty one. I was going to stock this one myself. As we age, we (hopefully) learn to discern what to pack in our kits and when to use them. As children, it's all or nothing, Safety Girl or danger. Hula-hooping in socks and sandals or playing in the middle of the street. As adults, we become aware of the gray areas. Sometimes it's just fine to talk to strangers. But it's still not a good idea to accept rides from them. We still look both ways before crossing the street, but if I want to take a walk I can do so now without my name written in permanent marker on the bottom of my shoes. Sometimes accidents happen or Adventure Girl makes mistakes, but there's good in that. If it weren't for those events we wouldn't have cute Safety Girl kits, and we wouldn't learn and grow from the lessons they teach us.

Hop in the car, Adventure Girl. You too, Safety Girl. We're going for a ride. But I'll drive.

(I hope it's clear that I'm referring to everyday situations of safety and danger, not acts of God such as the recent tornadoes in the South. Those events take much more than a cute kit to cope with. I add my prayers to those already out there, that you will have everything you need.)

difference between TV westerns and cop shows - unless there's a woman

2011-04-27T09:00:00.000-05:00

Grandpa's a big fan of westerns. Luckily for him, TVLand plays multiple episodes of Gunsmoke and Bonanza daily. I am not a western fan, but I am a Grandpa fan, and I like to sit with him and work on the computer while he watches his shows. I've realized that I don't mind at all watching up to 4 hours of Michael Landon a day (Little House is on, too), but if I never hear the Bonanza theme song again I will be perfectly happy, and my favorite opening for Gunsmoke is the one that zooms in on Marshal Matt Dillon's gun in his holster because it also zooms in on his tight butt (thank you, Gunsmoke - way to draw in the ladies).

I've become aware of one glaring difference between these "old" westerns and modern cop shows. Unless it's time for the Big Shoot-Out, the old gunslingers seem to get their man with the first shot every time, while on cop shows Many Bullets must be fired. I've only fired a gun once, but I think I'm a lot better shot than some of those dodos. Really, it just makes you want to jump into the show and take over, doesn't it? Remind me to check in with my therapist re: anger management. Anyway, Marshal Dillon or the Cartwrights just fire a shot, the bad guy goes down without bleeding, and the story moves on. And when our heroes get hit, they say, "It's just a scratch. I'm fine," and go on with their day.

On today's cop shows, however, when the guns come out they stay out. Must have a good union. Every single thing around the bad guy is hit as he blithely runs away. And if someone is hit, hero or villain, it's an Emmy-nominated moment: "I'm hit! I'm hit! Aaaagggghhhh...." Then they either die violently or fall in love in their hospital room.

UNLESS, that is, the hero of the cop show is actually a heroine. Oh yes, now that more and more women are playing detectives, producers (or whoever) are returning to that old western glory. If the female detective gets hit, she says, "It's just a scratch. I'm fine," checks her stilettos, then ministers to her less-tough male counterparts who are whining in the background. And she always gets her man.

When it's time for the Big Shoot-Out, however, all shows are the same - shoot all you've got at everything you've got. Noise and flash is the goal, not accuracy. The bigger the explosion, the better! And as the dust settles, our hero or heroine rises bravely from the rubble, smiles a crooked smile, and rides into the sunset.

V: Venturing down the aisle...or not

2011-04-26T09:08:00.002-05:00

When I was almost three years old, my aunt and uncle got married (not the ones I live with). I was a flower girl for the first (I think) time. (I don't mean aunt & uncle had multiple marriages, I mean I was in other weddings. With other people.) Anyway, I don't remember the ring-bearer's name, so we'll call him Bobby. Bobby was thrilled to get all gussied up and participate in a wedding by carring a satin pillow.

Bobby made it through the rehearsal okay, but when the Big Day came and he found out that not only would he have to walk with a girl down the aisle again, but he would also have to do it in a tux, he decided he'd had enough. Our moment came. The music swelled, and we started to walk. The room was filled with big people smiling down at us and whispering how cute we were. This was the last straw for Bobby. He saw his parents in the crowd, turned toward them, and ran. I watched him, stunned for a moment, then I shrugged my shoulders, turned back toward the front of the sanctuary, and finished my job. Boys.

I didn't know it at the time, but that episode would represent all of my future romantic or just-friends-but-I-wish-we-were-romantic endeavors. While I enjoy the single life and understand how well it fits me now, in my 20's and early 30's I very much wanted to be married. But I couldn't hook anyone. I was just too cute. And competent. It's a cross I must bear.

silliness with grandpa

2011-04-26T09:03:00.001-05:00

I tend to forget things. Grandpa knows this and thinks it's hilarious. I'm glad he's amused. The other day as I gathered my things to leave, Grandpa said, "Do you have everything?" "Yep!" I said. "I've got it all!" I left, then reappeared a couple of minutes later. "What are you doing here?" Grandpa said. "I forgot my charger," I growled with fake irritability. "Well, I asked you if you had everything," Grandpa laughed. "I know!" I yelled.

This morning, Grandpa said while doing his word search puzzle: "You know, if you look at the word in the right direction, it's easy to find!"
Me: (laugh) "Well, why didn't you do that the first time?"
Grandpa: "I know, I know!"

W: Whirling dervishes

2011-04-25T21:34:00.006-05:00

From Ya-Yas in Bloom by Rebecca Wells:
"The girls spun round and round and round the ice cream parlor, scarves in their hands, between their teeth, wrapped around their fingers like scarf rings. They did not dance madly, like Mehnaz from some Greek tragedy, but like muses: graceful and ready to inspire. The spark that lived in all of them rejoiced when they turned in circles, little whirling wild spirits, like junior priestesses of some undomesticated tribe. They went somewhere else as they spun, into a trance of dizziness, as if they were praying. It looked as if they were bad little girls acting like wild sprites, and some of the folks in the ice cream parlor thought them rude and uncouth, but that is only because these townspeople did not know about whirling dervishes and what happens when they dance and pray, pray and dance. They did not know that dance can become prayer, and prayer can become dance."

I'm so blessed to have some whirling dervishes in my life who draw me into the dance (especially one who loves to wear her cowboy boots with anything, including multi-colored striped tights):

wish I'd thought of that

2011-04-25T12:32:00.000-05:00

I love Surrender, Dorothy's post about the Easter Bunny - just call me "Passover Chick."