I am enjoying these last few days of 2011; I've found a liminal space inside them, a place of waiting, reflecting, anticipating, being. A place between the completed/fulfilled anticipation of Advent and Christmas and the expectancy of a new year and season. My mind fills with thoughts and evaluations of events in the past year as well as plans for the one to come, but I push these thoughts aside for now and go deeper into the liminal space itself. Does anything lie here, waiting to be discovered? Or perhaps it is simply a time to be without doing, to sit and look without planning or analyzing. I walk, I read, I ponder God and what he teaches me. The past year or so has been difficult; I have lived with great fear and resentment. I thank God for the grace to be able to see this and, in this liminal time, to be able to separate myself from the fear and resentment somewhat so that I may understand them more fully, if understanding comes. What do I fear? Why? I am resentful because I have expectations that aren't being met, and I am losing patience and hope. Perhaps it is time to let these expectations go. I am beginning to discover that the emptying of a life can bring a greater capacity for grace.
Blessings to you; I wish you well in this in-between time and in the year to come. May the Peace of God be with us.
