having fun with Grandpa and a (brilliant?) idea

Grandpa and I are developing little rituals for some of the things we do every day.  When I ask him if he wants dessert after lunch, he usually says, "Yes, white on brown."  This means whipped cream on chocolate pudding.  Sometimes I pretend I'm going to give him mashed potatoes on brown gravy, sometimes I get the food right but decide to put white next to brown instead, sometimes I spray the white all over myself (accidentally).

After lunch I ask him if he wants his feet up in the recliner.  He's begun to spell or use acronyms for his answer.  "F U," he said a couple of weeks ago ("feet up").  After my shocked reaction to my grandfather telling me to f u, Grandpa changed it to "F U-P."  Today I asked, "Way F U-P?" and pressed lightly on the back of the chair, beginning to tilt him backward (don't tell my dad).  Grandpa laughed and said, "No no no no no!  F just level!"

Grandpa had a couple of visitors this morning.  After the second one left he said, "What a lot of visitors!  I'm ready for President Obama!"

Due to a combination of tough whiskers and very tender skin which makes shaving difficult, Grandpa is growing out his beard for the first time in his life.  He's not sure he likes it, but many of us love it - he really does look handsome - I mean, even more handsome.  Maybe I'll let my own grow out.  He's also started wearing his John Deere cap because sometimes the light in the room is too bright for him.  So now when I go downstairs instead of seeing a bald, clean-shaven man I see a guy who's ready to enter the high-stakes poker championships, if someone would just get him some sunglasses.

Speaking of beards, you know how in 5th grade or thereabouts they split up the boys and girls at school and give you "the talk" or show you "the video" about the wonderful changes your body has begun or will soon begin to make?  I think we should get another talk in high school.  I mean, I really could've used a heads up that someday my breasts would develop an irresistable attraction to my navel, that I'd walk into rooms and forget what I was going to do there, and grow facial hair.  If you watch enough TV you figure out the boobs thing, but chin hair?  Are you kidding me?!