A Credo for Support

The videos to the left of this column have a very powerful message written by a man with cerebral palsy and his wife.  When you view humanity in this way, the whole world changes.

A Credo for Support

c. 1995 by Norman Kunc and Emma Van der Klift

Throughout history,

people with physical and mental disabilities

have been abandoned at birth,

banished by society,

used as court jesters,

drowned and burned during the Inquisition,

gassed in Nazi Germany,

and still continue to be segregated, institutionalized,

tortured in the name of behavior management,

abused, raped, euthanized, and murdered.

Now, for the first time, people with disabilities are taking their rightful place as fully contributing citizens.  The danger is that we will respond with remediation and benevolence rather than equity and respect.  And so, we offer you

A Credo for Support

Do Not see my disability as the problem.

Recognize that my disability is an attribute.

Do Not see my disability as a deficit.

It is you who see me as deviant and helpless.

Do Not try to fix me, because I am not broken.

Support me.  I can make my contribution to the community in my way.

Do Not see me as your client.  I am your fellow citizen.

See me as your neighbor.  Remember, none of us can be self-sufficient.

Do Not try to modify my behavior.

Be still and listen.

What you define as inappropriate may be my attempt to communicate with you in the only way I can.

Do Not try to change me, you have no right.

Help me learn what I want to know.

Do Not hide your uncertainty behind "professional" distance.

Be a person who listens, and does not take my struggle away from me by trying to make it all better.

Do Not use theories and strategies on me.

Be with me.  And when we struggle with each other, let that give rise to self-reflection.

Do Not try to control me.  I have a right
to my power as a person.

What you call non-compliance or manipulation may actually be the only way I can exert some control over my life.

Do Not teach me to be obedient, submissive, and polite.

I need to feel entitled to say No if I am to protect myself.

Do Not be charitable towards me.

The last thing the world needs is another Jerry Lewis.

Be my ally against those who exploit me
for their own gratification.

Do Not try to be my friend.  I deserve more than that.

Get to know me.  We may become friends.

Do Not help me, even if it does make you feel good.

Ask me if I need your help.  Let me show you how you can best assist me.

Do Not admire me.  A desire to live a full life does not warrant adoration.

Respect me, for respect presumes equity.

Do Not tell, correct, and lead.

Listen, Support, and Follow.

Do Not work on me.

Work with me.