are we there yet?

My friend Pam at radical ramblings and thoughts of a southern girl wrote a post today on surrender.  As I envisioned myself walking beside her on that particular path, giving and receiving encouragement, I suddenly burst out, "Are we there yet?!"  I mean, my God, how much more can you ask?  My job, my home, my dogs, my ability to think clearly, my relationships, my very sanity sometimes...what next?  Oh, I know, I prayed with St. Ignatius that you take everything, even my memory, understanding, and liberty, if you see fit, and I meant it, but I didn't realize those things ran so deep.  Now I'm tempted to say, "Just try to take anything more.  I dare you."  And yet I do pray it.  I'm a mess, a bitter, proud, resentful mess.  I offer up my very life, but when you take it I fight to get it back.  Teach me what all this loss is for, what it really means.  Or don't.  But please teach me to love.