you know...

You know it's going to be an interesting day when:

You pick up your toothbrush and the toothpaste, then spread the toothpaste onto your palm.

You have to leave and you can't find your phone, so you call yourself from your aunt & uncle's phone (thank heavens for housemates).  The house phone you choose isn't cordless, so you call yourself, dash to your room, and think the phone is ringing in the canvas shopping bag next to your purse.  You pick up the bag and hold it to your ear and walk away from your purse to see if you're right re: bag vs. purse, and the phone stops ringing.  You think you're right about the bag, but you leave it in your room when you go back to the house phone to call yourself again - hey, it was early.  You call yourself for the 2nd time, dash to your room, and rummage through the bag.  You know the phone's in there now because you can hear it and see the light coming from it, but you keep rummaging through the bag and can't find it.  The phone stops ringing.  You empty out the bloomin' bag and find your phone in the plastic grocery sack with the loaf of bread - of course!  You go back to hang up the house phone and hear yourself on the line saying leave a message.  Even though they were both hang-ups, your cell phone then says, "Voice mail received."  Yay, I have mail!

Now you're running late, so you stuff a notebook with a post-it on it into your purse, telling yourself you'll read whatever reminder you wrote on the post-it later when you get to Mom & Dad's (M&D's).  Then you actually listen to the little voice in your head that says "check the note" - you do, and it says "record mileage to M&D's".  You remember you also wanted to take mayo to M&D's, so you say "mileage and mayo, mileage and mayo" nonstop so you won't forget them as you go start the car to warm it up.  You grab the mayo and start just saying "mileage" over and over.  You finish getting ready ("mileage, mileage, mileage"), grab your stuff and get in the car.  You put the car in reverse ("mileage, mileage, mileage") and stop at the end of the driveway when you realize "mileage, mileage, mileage" means you actually have to push a button.  You set the odometer and continue on your way, proud that you actually left home with everything you meant to take and do.

And that was all just this morning!  I have also recently and mistakenly sprayed body spray all over my hair instead of hairspray.  Later I thought, "Gee, my hair smells terrific!  But why is it so flat?"