Somebody ate his (Cream of) Wheaties this morning:
Grandpa: "You know what?"
me: "No, what?"
"That's what I'm wondering. I don't know what either."
Grandpa doing his word search puzzle: "'Payroll.' I can pay you now. I found the payroll."
me: "It's about time!"
(fake pitiful voice): "Well I'm sorry, I looked and looked and looked..."
Grandpa, looking at high school girls' soccer honorees in the paper: "I can't find you...where's your picture?"
"You're not in here."
(Grandpa giggling): "I'm so disappointed!"