Monday, April 25, 2011

stuff I never Understood as a kid

In addition to the mystery of why I wasn't allowed to run with Barbie coatracks, I didn't understand a few other things people told me when I was young:

"If you keep pouting and sticking your lip out like that, a little bird's going to come sit on it."  Huh?  Why on earth would a bird do that?  And actually, that would be really cool, unless the bird pooped on me.

"Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about."  Again, huh?  I HAVE something to cry about, that's why I'm crying!  And if you want me to stop, why would you make me cry more?

But why can't I spray my bedroom's wood floor with perfume and mop it up with my stick horse?  Don't you want me to have any domestic skills?  (This is why I have no domestic skills.)

"Because I said so!"  Does the President know you're claiming this much authority?

After a particular "Three's Company" episode, I went to Mom and asked, "What's a hooker?"  And that was the end of "Three's Company."  I learned to keep my mouth shut after that.

Mom and Dad were showing their wedding pictures to friends one evening and pointing out who was in the pics, and I said, "And that's me in Mommy's tummy."  It took me several years to figure out why Dad so adamantly said, "Oh no you're not!!!"

1 comment:

  1. Love this post ~ did you create the cartoon character ? It is great! ^_^