"If you keep pouting and sticking your lip out like that, a little bird's going to come sit on it." Huh? Why on earth would a bird do that? And actually, that would be really cool, unless the bird pooped on me.
"Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about." Again, huh? I HAVE something to cry about, that's why I'm crying! And if you want me to stop, why would you make me cry more?
But why can't I spray my bedroom's wood floor with perfume and mop it up with my stick horse? Don't you want me to have any domestic skills? (This is why I have no domestic skills.)
"Because I said so!" Does the President know you're claiming this much authority?
After a particular "Three's Company" episode, I went to Mom and asked, "What's a hooker?" And that was the end of "Three's Company." I learned to keep my mouth shut after that.
Mom and Dad were showing their wedding pictures to friends one evening and pointing out who was in the pics, and I said, "And that's me in Mommy's tummy." It took me several years to figure out why Dad so adamantly said, "Oh no you're not!!!"