Took a break from the goal-making yesterday. Didn't choose death, just chose to have a Sabbath and spend more time in prayer and reflection than in action. Now I'm recharged and ready to go.
Ways I chose life today:
- took dogs on walk to park - the automatic resistance I had for this "chore" is much less now - I wanted to walk, but when I thought about the creek and hosing them off I didn't want to do it - then I realized it only takes a minute or so to clean them up, so I let them go in, and they had a great time - Oliver chased the ducks at first, then just lay down in the creek where the ducks come down the bank to get in - he decided he'd just wait for them to come to him, and he waited...oh well. Maybe next time.
- (started this yesterday) am going through journals and retreat stuff from Fall '07 - Winter '08. It's the first time I've done this since the retreat. So far it's been really good to go back and review with an attitude of prayer and openness to God, also to see things I'd forgotten about.
- enjoyed time with Grandpa
I will be forever thankful for the wisdom that comes with age - as much as I have, anyway. This choosing life thing is like forming any other new habit. You start off in the honeymoon stage, and everything is so new and fun and you have so much energy that you begin sprinting, not realizing this is a marathon. When you do realize you have miles and miles ahead of you, you (I) often just stop and give up. BUT I saw that coming! I think I've been pacing myself well, but I can see how the change within is sometimes tiring - I enjoyed my Sabbath yesterday, and today I forgot that a friend was going to call and turned off my phone and took a nap. (I'm sorry!!!)
Goals for the day:
None! I figured out and downloaded music onto Mom's MP3 player this a.m. (she's hipper than I am - however, if something happens to me and someone discovers Barry Manilow's "Ultimate Manilow" CD downloaded onto my laptop, it's because I did it for MOM!!!). I also did some writing and reading of my journals from the retreat this a.m., so I'm calling it good.
Goal for tomorrow morning:
Walk dogs again