In November 2007 I abruptly quit my job as a teacher of students with severe/multiple disabilities. From Jan. 7, 2008 to Feb. 7, 2008 I took a silent, 30-day retreat at a retreat house in Concordia. The retreat had a significant impact on my life and spirit. I've wanted to go back through my notes and journals from the retreat, but it never seemed to be the right time, until now. As I remember and more deeply understand what led up to the retreat and what happened during it, I pray you are also encouraged or touched in some way, in your own life.
From my journal:
5-5-07 - What a week. As I reflect on it and work to get past the anger into a more peaceful, quiet, objective view, I see my own mistakes or issues. Tremendous, deeply-felt insecurity. Being overly helpful instead of addressing problems.
(I was angry and frustrated about general school/teaching issues.)
5-23-07 - Wanting to point out another's flaws and my own accomplishments to people I fear are hearing otherwise. Fighting the fear and struggling to relax and let my actions, behavior speak for themselves. Trying to face what I do need to improve without it crumbling me. And wanting to be beyond it all, over it.
I was stressed-out and exhausted by the end of that school year. I hoped the summer would give me enough time to relax, return to a calmer frame of mind, and give me enough rest so I could be charged up and ready to do it again in August.