I do not have a secret escape hatch in the bathroom. I promise to come back, and I do not need your assistance.
If you get out of my way, you'll get your treat faster.
If you go in the creek, you'll get hosed off afterward. That's the deal.
(When I'm taking one to the vet and leaving the other behind in a fit of panic or jealousy): We are not going anywhere fun and I promise not to abandon you. I love you. I would never abandon you. And even if I did abandon you, I certainly wouldn't leave you the house, so relax!
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