more stuff I wish the dogs could understand

"I believe I am actually here on earth to do more than cater to your every desire."

"I'm the Mama, so I get dibs on the covers and that is my pillow."

"If I didn't give it to you, don't eat it."

"Get a job."

"Your barking does not seem to be having any effect on the creature you are barking at.  It's time for a new, quieter tactic.  Speaking of which, how's that pawing furiously on the window to get out working for ya'?"