Okay, hold on - all the blondes I know happen to be smart, but I like the title - deal with it! Anyway, now that I'm mostly gray, I sort of qualify.
What I said to a clerk when I set off a store's sensor/metal detector and the alarm started beeping: "Ooh! What did I win?" (Yes, I was serious.)
What I said when I took my car to the mechanic because the steering wheel was shaking:
Him: "So you have a shimmy?"
Me: "No, a Toyota."
What I said when a friend handed me a tightly-rolled $100 bill he'd found on the ground at a gas station: "What's all this white powder on it?"
What I said to my neighbor, who works for Roto Rooter, when he came over to see why a RR van was in my driveway: "Hi Bob - I wondered if you'd be working today. Wanna' come in and unclog my pipes?"