Sunday, May 16, 2010

fun with grandpa - 1

My dad's dad is a 92-year-old, charming, sweetheart of a man whose picture is in the dictionary under "ornery".  He's currently living with my parents, and on Sunday mornings I hang out with him, which has turned out to be a great time for both of us (or so he says).  A few weeks ago, he had trouble reading the soap-opera-type comic he likes to keep up with, so he asked me to read it to him.  Grandpa is a bit hard of hearing, although there is suspicion among some family members that his hearing problem is selective or he is just plain faking it.  Anyway, I made the mistake of not pre-reading the comic, in which two guys were talking.  So what came out of my mouth at full volume was something like this:

"HEY, JOE.  HOW'S MIKE?  I HEARD HE'S IN JAIL AGAIN."
"YEAH.  I HAVEN'T GONE TO SEE HIM YET."
"I HEARD VALERIE WENT TO VISIT HIM."
"YEAH.  SHE STAYED 45 MINUTES, AND WHEN SHE LEFT MIKE HAD A BIG SMILE ON HIS FACE."

(Silence.)  (Crickets chirping.)  If you've never hollered at a grandparent about conjugal visits, I highly recommend it.

Today, Grandpa said out of the blue, "Sing me a song."  So I sang the first one that came to mind:  "OH I WISH I WERE AN OSCAR MEYER WIENER...."  Naturally, that's when Mom & Dad walked in.  When I finished, he clapped and smiled, then I asked him to sing me a song.  "I love Kerri, I love Kerri, I love Kerri," etc. etc.  He wins.

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